My friend came out.....of the bathroom so I could shit

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Knock Knock. Ow! Why you hit me!?

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OMG LOOK I FOUND A MAGIC DECODER RING

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What has two arms, and two legs but cant walk? A Cripple

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What do you call a Muslim woman driving a plane? First, you don't "drive" planes you "fly" them. Second, you should address her as Ma'am, Captain, or Pilot.

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Why did the priest molest the small boy? Because he can.

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Where does a hobo live? A box.

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How do you kill a black guy? Shoot him in the temple

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How many midgets can you fit into a telephone booth? Well, it really depends on a lot of factors. The size and design of the phone booth itself is pretty important. Also, midgets really have a wide range of sizes, but we could do some analysis and find out the average at least. Based on that we could have an estimate done soon.

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Are you from Jamacia? Because I want to have sex with you.

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Why could the woman cook for her family? She didn't have one she was anti-social

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Goats are like mushrooms, If you shoot a duck im scared of toasters

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Q - Want to hear a joke? A - Me Too.

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Roses are red, Violet are blue, This is Sparta, I am a chair

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There was a little boy in kindergarten who really had to go to the bathroom. So he asked his teacher if he could go to the bathroom, and she told him he could go at snack time. The little boy really had to go to the bathroom, so he asked his teacher again, and like before, she told him to wait until it was snack time. The little boy had to go very very badly and asked the teacher one more time. This time the teacher said "if you can say the alphabet, then you can go to be bathroom" so the little boy got up all his courage and started off with "A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K,L,M,N,O,P,Q,R,S,T,U,V,W,X,Y and Z." Then the teacher said,"good job" and let him go to the bathroom. When he went there was a man waiting in the stall who brutally raped and murdered the boy.

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why was the vampire sad? his last victim had aids.

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Walk in to a room and sing "if you're deaf and you know it, clap your hands!"

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What's worse than going to boot camp? - going to concentration camp.

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Q:How do you make an accountant cry ? A: You kill his whole family

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your other apple.

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Whats a cat? A cat!

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whats worse than dropping your ice cream down the stairs? dropping your baby down the stairs

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what did one cow say to the other cow. nothing as its mouth was filled with grass thus it could not speak or it would be deemed as rude.

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What is better than winning the Special Olympics? Not being retarded

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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