What's the difference between Jews, Muslims & Christians? Religious beliefs.

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A dog walks into a bar. A patron checks its tags and promptly calls the owner.

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A: Knock, knock. B:Who's there? A: It's your neighbor, Sam. B: Oh, well my extended family is over for dinner at the moment. Would you mind coming back later? A: I suppose that would be alright.

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3 aliens landed on earth. They all wanted to learn english. The first alien went to an opera class and learned "mi mi mi mi mi." The second alien went to a military camp and learned "guns and bazookas, guns and bazookas!" The third alien went to a candy shop and learned "he stole my lollipop!" After all of that, they went to their spaceship and saw a dead man and a cop that said, "which one of you three killed this man?" The first alien said "mi mi mi mi mi." The cop said "what did you kill him with?" The second alien said "guns and bazookas, guns and bazookas!" The cop then said "why did you kill him?" The third alien said "he stole my lollipop!"

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what did the little girl find when she opened the freezer in her basement? food.

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"Ask me if I'm an orange!" "Are you an orange?" "No."

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender jokingly asks him, "Why the long face?!" The horse replies, "I was just diagnosed with cancer."

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why does the octopus have no friends? because they're anti social by nature

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The joke below me is retarded

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Your mother is so fat.

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What did the black guy get on his SAT's. Barbecue sauce

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Q: What did the bulbasoar say to the charmander? A: bulbasoarrr

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1.Knock Knock 2.Who's there? 1.Boo 2.Boo Wh- The second person realized that the first person was about to make him cry so he stabbed the first person. 2.Who's cryin now Son!

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Why do asians have such thin eyes? Genetics

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Why does bobby have no friends? He's dead.

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what did the jewish man say to the christian man on the first day of hannukah? i like basketball

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whats blue and fluffy ? Blue fluff

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Ran into my ex last night, so I put my truck in reverse and did it again.

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What do you call a black guy flying a plane? A pilot you racist.

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Whats something only kids wear? Clothes

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a man runs over his wife, who is at fault? -The man he shouldn't have been driving in the kitchen.

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What did mike Tyson say to the midget? ''Hello'' He's actually a relatively nice man.

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I believe you, if something is possible, I know you can do it. I tried lucid dreaming once, but I felt like I began floating and that was no fun, scared me. I am pretty good at hypnotizing others, myself not so much.

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this going to be my new text thingy! i dont have a phone! WATS UP!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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