A jew goes to a bar,then wakes up with presents under his candels.

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A: Knock Knock! B: Whos there? A: Its the f**king cops we have you surrounded.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because a random biological stimulus compelled it to.

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why did the shark cross the road It didn't its a shark

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whats worse then falling on the ice? -getting raped by a blue whale

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Q: What happens when you eat all the potatoes A: They are all gone

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What's the diffrence between a pizza and a black man. One is human being while the other is an inanimate food source.

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A black man walks into a bar. He orders a drink and chats with his work friends. Then he goes home to his loving family.

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What do iPhones and Nokias have in common The nokia is indestructible. I lied about the iPhone

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how do you get 100 dead babies in a bucket? use a blender. how do you get 100 dead babies out of a blender? Doritio's

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Your mommas so stupid she decided to go to night school to better her self. She got a degree in business and finance and is now a manager for HSBC

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender jokingly asks him, "Why the long face?!" The horse replies, "I was just diagnosed with cancer."

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Q1:Why was the homeless man homeless? A1:He suffered from a series of mentally disabilitating diseases. From a young age these disabilities went unnoticed and untreated. They evolved to a level in which he believes he is god, therefore he throws fescues at passing automobiles. Q2:Why does the homeless man throw poo at cars? A2:See answer 1

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Whats skinny, round, tall, smells like a dead baby, hard, small, and fat? nothing

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A guy walks into a bar. The bar was closed. Tough luck.

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How Long is a Chinese man.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, my chickens aren't allowed in rural areas...

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So I showed my friend my blind dog. He said, "Wow I've never seen a blind dog before!" I said, "they havnt seen you either."

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how do you own a ginger? you don't nobody wants them.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not sally.

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Goats are like mushrooms, If you shoot a duck im scared of toasters

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Why was Jeremy slow? He wasnt fast.

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What did the blind, deaf orphan get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was Catholic and was having an identity crisis. Thinking that he was the road, he panicked and crossed himself.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops