how did the fat guy fall off the swing? the chain on the right side broke because of is eccesive weight that he probably should have lost last year on biggest loser.

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I've ben told to open all your windows when a tornado comes. Who told you THAT? A guy who opened all his windows when a tornado came.

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Knock knock. Who's there? George Washington. George Washington who? George Washington Carver.

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What do blondes do when they hurt themselves ? They say "Ow", just like anyone else.

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Why is Jesus not real? Because Chuck Norris is still alive.

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Q. What did the man with no heart say? A. Nothing. No living creature can live without a heart.

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What is the difference between your mother and a hooker? Gonorrhea and her father's approval.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Doesn't matter, the lightbulb was never out

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Why didn't you return my call? Cause I F@%Kin Hate you!...And Just wanted to tell you in person....

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Politics.

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why do giraffes have long necks? because their heads are a long way from their bodies

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Q:: when artificial intelligence takes over the planet, what will become of anti-joke.com? A:: idk, but my cousin's girlfriend and I will get naked together and she will get on top of me and tell me I'm awesome and that my d*ck feels really good inside her. you see by the time AI takes over, the means to create virtual reality experiences will be greatly enhanced.

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A man was chopping wood, he then brought the wood to his house and lit a fire.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where is my tractor?"

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a rabbi,a priest and minister didnt walk into a bar. Bars are for fun and fun is for not completely insane brainwashed people.

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how much does a pirate pay for an earing? $2.50

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Why can't Sally ride her bike? Because Sally is eight months old and doesn't even understand what a bike is.

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A couple arrived at Hospital in less than 3 hours. but actually they wanted to go to the Church...and 3 hours is quite a long time...

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Yo Mama is so fat She wears XL clothes.

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3 aliens landed on earth. They all wanted to learn english. The first alien went to an opera class and learned "mi mi mi mi mi." The second alien went to a military camp and learned "guns and bazookas, guns and bazookas!" The third alien went to a candy shop and learned "he stole my lollipop!" After all of that, they went to their spaceship and saw a dead man and a cop that said, "which one of you three killed this man?" The first alien said "mi mi mi mi mi." The cop said "what did you kill him with?" The second alien said "guns and bazookas, guns and bazookas!" The cop then said "why did you kill him?" The third alien said "he stole my lollipop!"

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What did Shakespeare say to the software designer? Nothing.

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What do iPhones and Nokias have in common The nokia is indestructible. I lied about the iPhone

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why does the octopus have no friends? because they're anti social by nature

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"Ask me if I'm an orange!" "Are you an orange?" "No."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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