A dog walks into a bar. A patron checks its tags and promptly calls the owner.

Why did the casual smoker have terrible teeth? He very rarely brushed them.

Where does a hobo live? A box.

What's the diffrence between a pizza and a black man. One is human being while the other is an inanimate food source.

Why are elephants big, grey and wrinkled? Beacause if they where small, white and smooth, they would be an aspirin!!!

Diana and victoria

Knock Knock Come in Thank you very much. Don't mention it. Would you like a home made spinach roll?

Why was Jeremy slow? He wasnt fast.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was Catholic and was having an identity crisis. Thinking that he was the road, he panicked and crossed himself.

Your mama's so dumb, she don't even know it.

Women's Rights

what happens when you wake up inception

A mogwai walks into a bar. The bartender says "Sorry, we don't feed mogwais after midnight."

a woman walks into a stall with her five yr old daughter. as the mom starts to due her buisness the girl looks down and asks her mom "Mommy why do u have a beard on ur pe-pe?"

Why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares?

A baby seal walks into a bar. Animal services are called and the seal is returned to its natural habitat. A man then beats it dead with a blunt object.

What do you call a black guy flying a plane? A pilot you racist.

Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken

What is better than winning the Special Olympics? Not being retarded

knock knock. who's there yourdrive yourdrive who yourdriving me up the wall

Amedeo Clemente Modigliani was an Italian artist who worked mainly in France. Primarily a figurative artist, he became known for paintings and sculptures in a modern style characterized by mask-like faces and elongation of form. He died in Paris of tubercular meningitis, exacerbated by poverty, overwork, and addiction to alcohol and narcotics.

how many Alzheimer's patients does it take ti screw in a lightbulb? to get to the other side

Q: How many cows does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: Infinite, cows do not have thumbs, in fact, they have hooves. This disables them from holding any large objects without the use of their mouthes.

Why did William go home. His mother called and they were having a potroast

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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