Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not sally.

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What did the black guy get on his SAT's. Barbecue sauce

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Why couldn't Spiderman pay his rent? He didn't have enough money.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

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Q: What did the bulbasoar say to the charmander? A: bulbasoarrr

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what is the best thing to do if you are stuck in a cave with ten lions that haven't eaten in ten years? well the lions aren't the thing to worry about because if they have not eaten in ten years then they would have starved to death

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Two Jews walk into a bar. They order martinis and have a wonderful time.

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why was the vampire sad? his last victim had aids.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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I like my girls like my wisky. Strong, tastes and the leading cause of liver damage.

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SOCIOPATH SAYS: Bitch, rate all my comments thumbs up, if you do I wont rape you... YOu know unless I feel like, women kinda like it when men are in touch with their feelings... SO yeah... Im gonne touch your feelings ;) Nah, nope, no homo, you a gal? We can meet! Voluntary rape! (No I did not say voluntary sex, rape, you can say the saferword: OMG SO GOOD HARDER HARDER! If I you know... Am about to kill you... Which I will do if we get to that stage anyways... Relax ill recycle you. Moral: NeroMetal Think Recycling! Save our planet! ITS LIKE RAPING AND KILLING A PERSON!

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What is the difference between a Jew and a canoe? A canoe tips.

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A dog walks in to a Western Union, walks up to the cashier and says "I'd like to buy a telegram, please." The cashier says "Alright, what would you like it to say?" "I'd like it to say 'bow-wow-wow, bow-wow-wow" replies the dog. "Okay. You know, you can add another 'bow-wow-wow' to the message free of charge," the cashier informs. The dog says, "Well, that just wouldn't make any sense."

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what happens when you wake up inception

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Why is Kim Jong Un so fat? Because he takes all the food in the country and sends his own people to live in concentration camps!

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A man walks into bar. Which is no surprise as he'd been drinking heavily and his spacial awareness was poor at the best of times.

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whats blue and fluffy ? Blue fluff

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I used to work at a lightbulb factory... I made the filaments

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken

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Hey, you have small hands.

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Roses are red Violets are red I stabbed the gardener.

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whats worse than a baby in a dumpster? A baby in ten dumpsters.

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What did the atheist say when he was in the church? The eulogy for his best friend.

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What is Mario's favorite food? I don't know. You should ask him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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