A kid walks into a shop and asks the shopkeeper for a loaf of bread. The shopkeeper says, "White, wholemeal or multigrain?". The kid replies, "No thanks. My bike's outside".

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Knock knock. Whose there. Uninterupting black lady. Uninter.... MMMMMMMHHHHMMMM. Black ladies never listen

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What did the English teacher write on a sheet of assignment criteria? The assignment criteria. Plus, she spelled "millennium" wrong.

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How did the little boy break his arm? He was trampleed by elephants.

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Why did the baby die? It got shot.

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Q:Want to hear a pizza joke? A: Never mind it's to cheesy.

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Last time I heard that I dropped my i-phone

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What did the priest say to the child.... nothing he just gripped his arm tightly and pulled down his pant

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-How do you befriend Tom Hanks? -Kidnap his son

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where is my tractor?"

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Obviously.

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What's brown and sticky? -A stick.

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What did the homeless guy do when he found a quarter? He picked it up

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she didn't have arms. Knock. Knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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A man who is down on his luck was told that when one door closes a window opens. So he jumped out.

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what's harder than dodging bullets? dodging rain

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A fairly-priced Apple computer.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because a random biological stimulus compelled it to.

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A rabbi, a nun, and a homosexual walk into a bar. They proceed to get drunk, and party like its 1972. Oh yeah. And your dad was just killed by a refrigerator.

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What's sad about a house on fire?, it was my house.

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What did the ghost say to the bee? BOOBEE

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What do you call a black man in a suit? A lawyer.

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Noses are red, pilots are blue I am dyxslexic boo who

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? To have a shit.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops