What is green and sticky and oozes up a kid's upper lip? A homesick booger.

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Q. If you throw a red stone into the blue sea what it will become? A. It will Wet or Sink, as simple as that.

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What's long brown and sticky? S**t

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What's white and red all over? A baby in a blender

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What did susan boyle say when she saw a 10 year old boy get hit by a bus? "OH MY GOD, SOMEBODY RING AN AMBULANCE"

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WHat is the one thing an alcoholic needs everyday? Rehab.

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What is funnier than shooting a man in the face? Most things, shooting a man in the face is a terrible crime.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He realized he was in the ghetto

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It's funny, because she's twice his size!

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Knock knock! Who's there? Wrong house. I apologize.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road A: Nobody cares because its a chicken

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Knock Knock, Come in.

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OMG LOOK I FOUND A MAGIC DECODER RING

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police. We know about the cocaine.

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Your mother is so fat that she will die relatively early because of poor health.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a ginger all die in a car accident. Their souls all go to heaven. Nevermind, only the blonde, and brunette's souls went to heaven, since everybody knows, gingers don't have souls.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, my chickens aren't allowed in rural areas...

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shabalabadingdong JLR

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Q. What's like a square block of ice? A. A refrigerator.

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What did the blind, deaf orphan get for Christmas? Cancer.

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what do u call a black person a black person dehh

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How many alzheimers patients does it take to change a light bulb? How many? How many alzheimers patients does it take to change a light bulb?

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Lacrosse

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What did one eye say to the other? Nothing. Because eye's can't talk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops