Do you know whats funny? No do you know i was asking a question

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This boy. We shall call him George. George was skating down the street when he passed the market. George stopped and looked in when he saw this SWEET pair of shoes! They were priced for 20 bucks. So George rushed home and went to his dad who was mowing the lawn. "DAD DAD!" "what?" The dad said. "I FOUND THESE SWEET PAIR OF SHOES! Can you lend me 20 bucks?" His dad shook his head and George ran inside the house and went up to his mom who was washing the dishes. "Mom can you lend me 20 bucks for these sweet shoes?" His mom just looked at him funny and said, "No". Angry, George set off upstairs to his sister's room who was on the computer. "Sis can you lend me...." "GET OUT OF MY ROOM!!" She slammed the door in his face. George sighed and went to his room. But before he got to his door, he saw a 20 dollar bill on the floor. He picked it up and rushed to the store. Once he got the shoes he ran back home to his dad. "Dad DAD! Look at these.." He stopped and saw his dad that was under the lawnmower dead. George shrugged and went inside to his mom. "Mom mom! Look at these...." He stopped and saw that his mom was stuffed in the dishwasher, dead. George sighed and ran upstairs to show his sis. "Hey sis look at...." She was found with her head in the computer screen, dead. So George sighed and walked down to the living room. He plumped on the couch and wondered about how his family died. Then there was a knock on the door. George hesitated. It knocked again. He got up and went to the door. Opened it and out stood a penguin. He stared at the penguin. "What do you want?!" The penguin stared back. What did he say?????? Nothing penguins can't talk.

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What's worse than getting dumped? Being molested by a crazy hobo

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How do you make a health inspector give you a good report? Throw his family into a pack of alligators.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? ........finding a worm in your apple.

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How many jews does it take to- I have alzheimers

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A group of 8 paintbal professionals land on an island to battle another paintball team. The team is then faced by a challeng of the other team ambushing them. Everyone is okay and not touched. A case breaks the window of the bus they hide in. They open the case and find a bullet proof vest. A man placed the vest on himself. They made it one by one out of the bus and to the otherside of the field the man with the vest was shot and started going... eghegeheghdjrhherbehgh and they pulled out a real gun bulet. They were now under attack by an enemy with real amunation. Then next man to run across the fied was killed. Tehy ran fr their lives.

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A duck walked into a bar and said "ouch."

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What's the one good thing about being a paraplegic? Nothing.

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oh my god! what? i heard this joke the other day and it was hilarious. ok, tell me? actually it doesn't matter i can't remember anyway.

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What's that Lassie? Timmy fell in the well again? And you couldn't care less because the stupid kid never looks where he's going?

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im passing this on from a friend: 2 blondes walk into a building, you think one woulda saw it,

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Why did the man ask the woman on a date? They were both single and looking for a unique, romantic experience that could possibly turn into a long-term loving relationship.

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what did the guy say on friday ? ah man im so glad its not monday tuesday wednesday thursday friday saturday sunday he then threw a horse at a plane while moonwalking on a star that was riding a duck that was on a rabbit. Sir jumpalot was working overtime as he had to pay for a free phone

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse replies "I'm a talking horse and that's what you ask me? On the day I just buried my only son?"

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Simon says.. Nothing because he is deaf, so therefor he would have to sign it to you.

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I have a dig bick You that read wrong You read that wrong too You read that again to make sure I'm not fucking with you

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Why did the woman call 911? Fire.

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Why did Suzy fall off the swing? She has no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Suzy, she has no arms

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Why did the man not get home to his loving family? He blew up.

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What do you call a woman with one leg shorter than the other? Whatever her name is.

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Why did the helicopter crash? Because the driver was fat.

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I was going to write a joke about Alzheimers ... but I completely forgot it.

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Q : Who is the most famous celebrity, Lady Gaga or Justin Bieber? A : Neither, because they are just fads.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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