Q. What do mummies do when they run out of toilet paper? A. Nothing - they're dead and inanimate.

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Why did the blonde fail her driving test? She was paralyzed and had down syndrome.

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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth? Stuck

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Q. Why cant Stephen Hawking walk into a bar? A. Because he suffered being paralyzed and is unable to walk. So theoretically speaking it is impossible to walk when paralyzed and in a wheelchair unless the victim is out of his or her wheelchair. Please note that the chances of walking when paralyzed are extremely slim.

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What did the lady say after she returned home from the grocery store? "Oh no! I forgot the milk!"

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Why was Michael Jackson so bad at dancing? Because he had a broken leg.

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Why are women so obsessed with not having penises? I'm serious. Imagine an ordinary woman out there, who is not doing any of the activities that the women-not-having-penises thing is famous for. But I can pretty much guarantee that under her clothes at that very moment, she isn't having a penis. And for no good reason. Sometimes I suspect women keep up the no-penis thing even in their sleep. Frankly, I find that creepy. Why are women so obsessed with not having penises?

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A blind man walks into a book store. He asks if they have any books in Braille. The employee says "Yes! Many you haven't even seen before!"

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knock knock who's there? ketchup ketchup who? better catchup with me!

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Your momma's so fat that when she looked in the mirror she broke down crying and threw up in the toilet because she is belemic.

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What did the Jewish kid get for Christmas? Nothing, Jews don't celebrate Christmas.

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joe diragi whacks off his dog

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shirt and blue, i call this one snow white, to score and seven years a jo, six samurai kageki, coral, 50 piece, specific frame, whats with that one, amy, hoption, smell my butt, smell my balls, smell my fart, smell my poop, urgay, pringles,

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Two giant paint bubbles!

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Q: What's not funny and has three wheels? A: The Holocaust, I lied about the wheels and not being funny.

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Why the babie was not drinking his milk? He was dead.

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What's funny about 3 black men in a car going off a cliff? Nothing. They were my friends.

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What's white and can't climb trees? A fridge

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Yo mamma so black, she uses armor all instead of lotion...

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Roses are red Violets are blue I suck at poems nice tits

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A blonde, brunette, and redhead find a cliff that is supposed to turn you into something which you exclaim upon leaping from the cliff. The brunette jumps off and exclaims: BIRD! She thus falls to her death on a ton of pointy rocks. The other two loot her corpse and walk away.

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People...

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Why did the dead chicken cross the road? It didn't. It was dead.

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What happened when the Arabic man went through airport security? He was racially profiled and stopped, delaying not only him but the line of people behind him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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