What you do if you poo out a slug? Eat it.

Just friends, they too pretend to be you and copy the way you write and express yourself, I told them to stop though, Azure threatened someone here a cultist of sorts I think, that does not exactly put us in a better light with the people that where getting our messages, and yes they are coded, I sincerely had no idea though,

How do you stop the skunk from smelling, you rip it in half and bury the body therefore stopping the smells from escaping.

When geese migrate, why is one side of the V longer than the other? There are more birds on that side.

Why didn't the black man go to work? He had to attend his sister's funeral, who just recently passed away after her long hard battle with breast cancer.

why did the irishman need plastic surgery? because after the bear attack where there used to be a face there is now a gap

what do you call a door made of steel? a steel door

What is purple and rhymes with apple? Nothing

A Minister a Priest and a Rabi walk into a bar, they are not setting a very good example.

How do you get pikachu onto a bus? You can't. Pikachu is a fictional creature and therefore does not exist.

How did the woman get pregnant? She was thrown into a pool filled with semen.

Jesse's mom is so god damn fat that it is an extreme danger just being around her

Jamie Oliver eats a chip

If you go to America, you won't see any fat black people. They're all dead and in prison.

did you hear about the dyslexic, overweight, wheelchair bound blind guy? No? Niether did I, I'm deaf so don't hear about anything.

A guy named M.C. walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "wheres the food?" The bartender says, " its in your stomach."

rock crushes scissors, scissors are useless. scissors cut paper, little stips of paper are usless. paper covers rock, structure of rock remains intact.

Why are people in Africa dying? because the majority of them have a lack of food and fresh water which effects their health.

If I tell you that seeing you happy, is my main motivation towards accepting right now, would you believe me?

What did the child get from there parent on Christmas? Nothing. He's an orphan.

Why did the man have no head? It was blown off in Iraq 2 and days ago

Question: So, what do you get if you put a live dog, a dead cat, some sugarcubes, and your sisters panties (HORMONES OKAY? EVERYBODY KNOWS HORMONES EQUALS SPICE! Or something anyways...) In a blender until its all red and squishy? The hell I know, but put some Redbull in it, and its fucking delicious!

Why was the black man eating fried chicken? He was on death row and it was his last meal request..

Why was the man shot in the head twice? He wasn't because he died after the first and it is nearly impossible to survive a gunshot to the head.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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