a boy put a blanket oveer his head one night... He was warm for the rest of the night

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What's the difference between a Pimple and a Priest? One waits till you're 13 to "cum" on your face.

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Whats black, dead, and hangs from a tree in my backyard? Your Mom

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What's sadder than a lost puppy? A dead puppy.

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Q: What's the difference between a truck full of bowling balls and a truck full of dead babies? A: You can't unload a truck full of bowling balls with a pitchfork.

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What brown and sticky? A sticky turd

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whats worse than biting your apple and finding a worm? WWII.

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Midgets' mouths are perfect height for, kissing other midgets.

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Have you heard the one about the dead guy? Neither has he.

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"Knock Knock" "You know the doorbell is working?" "Oh, well, you know I'm here now. May I come in?" "Yes, have a cup of tea"

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Roses are red Roses are white and I one time saw a purple one

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What's the difference between a Obama and a drug-dealer? I don't know what? I don't know, I was asking if you know...

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Whats worse than one bee sting? Two bee stings. Whats worse than two bees stings? The holocaust. Whats worse than the holocaust? Three bee stings. Now, if you have been well-educated you should be able to tell the problem with this joke. Unless you know someone whos jewish and lived during the holocaust, you couldn't be sure if three bee stings was actually worse than the holocaust. If ou do however, thats good for you, keep it to yourself.

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What's worst than getting hit by a car. -Getting hit by a truck.

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why was Lucy fat? Her BMI was over the recommended average.

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whats green and has wheels? a green tractor.

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Knock knock ... Guess they aren't home.

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There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy. After botched reduction surgery, he was left without a penis at all and, realising the horrible irony, threw himself into a raging river (experiencing no shrinkage whatsoever).

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Joesph Triphook.

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"Is your fridge running?" "Yes, I believe so" "You'd better go make sure, because I put some chicken in there and it didn't seem very cold to me"

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A thought for the day: Life is like a game of chess. In the constant struggle for power, control and safe positions it makes no difference whether one plays white or black. As long as everything is planned and one stays a few moves ahead, everything will work out. Just don't annoy the queen, or she may send some very irate knights to fork you or a bishop to flank you. [L]

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? getting your ball sack ripped off with a grapple hook

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Q: where was Johnny during the bombing? A: everywhere

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What the last thing that went through Osama's mind? A bullet

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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