Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What's green, little, and eats rocks? A Little Green Rock-Eater What's green and has a thousand wheels? A lawn, I lied about the wheels! If I were to throw a rock down the a whole in the center of the earth (straight through) what would happen? The Little Green Rock-Eater would eat it!

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Why did the duck turn black? an oil spill

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What do you call literature that's depressing and hard to read? ...a valued part of the English curriculum

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What did the man get on his birthday the week before he died? Obamacare

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How did the man die? He was killed alive.

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Women's rights

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What is worse than getting a cold ? Finding a dead baby in your mailbox

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Q: what white hard and huge and it can kill you if you fall out of a tree? A: a refrigerator

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the monkey.

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whats wores than eating a vag. a gaint vag eating you.

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If Abraham Lincoln were alive today, he'd be really really old.

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Timmy needed to use the restroom in class, so he raised his hand and asked, "Can I go use the restroom?". The teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Timmy said, "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

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I hope your not allergic to bees Because your about to be attacked by a live tiger.

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Put chromosomes in advertising. Because you know, Sex Cells

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I was having sex with thisgirl and now I'm going to be a dad. All because I didn't wear a condom

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Johny wanted a pogo stick for his birthday. Johny's mom got him a pogo stick for his birthday. The day of Johny's birthday, he fell off the pogo stick and broke his arm.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English.It is confused by it's surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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A man in a wheelchair walked into a bar. No he didn't.

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I'll have a chocolate milkshake, hold the onions.

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What do you call a concentration camp with a mental disability? Auschwistic.

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asdasdasdasd

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HOW TO RE-AD : FOR DUMMIES. (HELLEN KELLER ADDITION)

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What did the boy with no legs get for Christmas? A nice sweater.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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