How do you get a clown to stop smiling? Hit him with an ax.

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25

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Why was the comedian so funny? Because that's his job, and if he wasn't funny he would have to become a hobo.

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Did you hear about the 2 pretzels walking down the street? It's not true, pretzels are not capable of autonomous movement.

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A woman walks up to a man in a supermarket and asks him where she can find the potatos. He says "I think they are all the way at the end on aisle 3" "Thanks" she says. Then she gets to aisle 3, and there aint no potatos!!!!

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Why do dead Republicans float? Their corpse's mass-to-volume ratio is less than the water they displace. It is very sad.

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A man goes to the store to buy a kitten. While there, he decides to buy two because he is feeling particularly hungry.

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where's mom I killed her

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What's funnier than 24? NOTHING!!!

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What did the black guy get on the SATs? Who knows, that isn't a specific person

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A deaf man sits down puts on his headphones presses play on his ipod starts to nod his head and realises what he has just done

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Q. What did the mockingbird say to the blue jay? A. I mock you by mocking you

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What happens if you go one louder? Nothing because you can't

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Grease is the word that you heard it's got groove it's got meaning

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A man walks into a bar. Sup.

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What is the biggest lie that's still close to the truth? You came out of your momma's asshole.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, most chickens are held on farms, but those that do roam free are afraid of automobiles so therefore they wouldn't go near a road at all. But if the chicken was located in a deserted town there would be no traffic, so then it would be able to cross freely over any road there and not get injured or mortally wounded.

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Cripples are lame.

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A 14 year old boy's mother walks into his room whilst he is naked. The boy requests for his mother to leave; so she apologizes and leaves as the whole incident was rather embarrasing.

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When does a cat not land on its feet? When it lands on its back.

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Yo mama so ugly that she often has trouble being attractive towards people of the opposite gender

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Why did the cookie go to the doctor, beause he was feeling really crumby...becuase he has testicular cancer

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What do you call a bunch of white people walking down a cliff? Avalanche

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Why couldnt the pirate get into the movies? Because it was rated pg-13 and his parents didnr likw him watching that

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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