What's a foot long and slippery A dick

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knock knock whose there? i don't know...

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, most chickens are held on farms, but those that do roam free are afraid of automobiles so therefore they wouldn't go near a road at all. But if the chicken was located in a deserted town there would be no traffic, so then it would be able to cross freely over any road there and not get injured or mortally wounded.

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Whats bigger than a toaster and smaller than an oven? ... ... ... ... ... ... ... .... .... . ... . . . ..... ...... ..... a microwave . ..... . ... ...

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What do you call a black person who flies a plane? A pilot, racist.

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Why did the woman throw a stick of butter out her window? She was mentally unstable.

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What worse than a hurt puppy? Two hurt puppies.

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how did the man jump over the mountain? it was a small mountain and he had a trampoline

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What do you call a man who never farts in public? A private tooter!

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How did the black man manage to get that 42 inch TV? He had been working a lot of overtime at work to try and treat his wife and kids.

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It only takes one drink to get me drunk.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What's faster than the speed of light? Not a car

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whats does a dog cat spider and rat have in common?the dog cat and rat are all mammals.Exept for the rat idiot!!you should have figured THAT out before!!!

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why was 14 scared of 15? 7-8-9

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My friend thinks he's smart, He said that onions are the only food that make you cry. So I threw a coconut at his face.

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A man walked into a bar Ouch!

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Whats worse than bitting into a apple and finding a worm? Being the worm who just lost nearly half his whole house because some jerk decided to eat an apple on the ground, whom after eating the apple destroyed the worms self-esteem by making the comparison to the worse thing possible. Or being raped by Zeus in the form of a worm.

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Knock Knock Who's there? no one, you've got Psycosis

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A bus with 12 black guys is driven off a cliff. What is the sad part of this story? ... Our beloved president was not involved.

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Knock Knock! Who's There? Interrupting Doctor Interru--- You Have Cancer...

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A grasshopper walks into a bar and the bartender says "Hey! We have a drink named after you!" The grasshopper doesn't respond because he is a grasshopper and therefore can't talk.

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My children are mistakes

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How do black people vote? They go to their polling place, register, then vote for their candidate on election day.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops