What do you call a doctor without a head? Deceased

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What did the man in the mirror say to the other man The Same F****** Thing!!

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A black man, a jewish man and an asian man walk into a bar. They are attending the wake of a friend who died of cancer.

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A man accidentally chops his thumb off while preparing his dinner for the night. He immediately calls an ambulance and has his thumb preserved which is later reattached back onto his hand. He then continues his dream career as a solo pianist.

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Why did the little boy cry? Because he stuck his finger into a blender

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Q: How do you make a plumber sad? A: Kill his family

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If I told you I was straight I'd be lying

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How do you know when your sister's on her period? Your dad's dick tastes like blood

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What's old and wrinkly? old people

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I'm typing this one handed... ... Because I'm an amputee.

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Knock Knock Who's there? a tree

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So you are a giggler huh? You ticklish too? Anyway, you ever watched Deathnote? I was gonna ask something kinda important but it disappeared, so you tell me stuff first. Oh, my parents? Well, they where nice and sweet, but lets talk about something cruel and horrible. (If you switch up nice and sweet with cruel and horrible and the opposite, you will get the picture I am trying to pain here) What makes me so much more interesting huh? And why are you afraid you may look like an Alien? HEEEEEY! I am a legal citizen and I am not freaking Mexican!

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(A man goes to visit his neighbor) Knock! Knock! ...................... ................... ................ ............ he walks back home

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what is the difference of a bag of dead babies and a trampoline? I take off my shoes when I jump on a trampoline

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roses are red violets are blue i'll be back in an hour or two

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What do you call two Japanese men digging through rubble? Worried family members of missing relatives due to the recent devastating tragedy in the island nation of Japan.

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Roses are blue Violets are red I'm colour blind Which is sometimes quite annoying

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Q-Jetski A-How is olive oil made?

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What is a 6.9? A period getting in the way of a good time!

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2 squirrels with 2 massive boners and 1 little boner.

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Where did susie go after the explosion? everywhere. What was susie after the explosion? a puzzle.

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Your mamma so jobless, that she needs a job! ~T.J.C.S.

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What do you do when a sing is stuck inside your head? Put a gun to your head, and shoot the song to death. It will work. Trust me. Youll never hear the song again. Or anything again.

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Two fish in a tank one said "How do you drive this thing?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops