"I just don't understand the difference between yours and mines." "Well, you see, yours belong to you, whereas mines explode when you step on them."

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Why doesn't Helen Keller know how to drive? because she's a woman.

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What did the Unicorn do with the Portal gun? Nothing. Neither of them are real.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, Or so the tell me, Because I'm Blind

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Why did you mom shop at Wal-Mart? She had a coupon

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What is the difference between an apple and an apple? One has a brown spot.

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What is white and can't climb trees? Toothpaste.

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A couple is playing chess. The man then chokes his wife to death, throws her body in a woodchopper, and eats her like cereal- Frost

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I obviusly meant: Have you ever seen a cow chasing boots? Because the one with the cowboy chasing boots doesn't make sense...

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What did the rabbit say to the man nothing animals cant talk

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I don't know about the rest of you, but I HATE funerals.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side

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What's the difference between a leopard and a coffee table? There is no difference. They both have four legs.

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Why didn't the 13 year old boy have any friends? He was autistic and didn't connect properly with people.

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What do you call an Arab driving a Plane? A Pilot.

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ur left leg is cristmas nd ur right leg is thanks giving can i vist

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How do you stop a baby flying 100mph? a shovel

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Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

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Is your refrigerator running? Yes. Good because it is important to keep food chilled to prevent it from spoiling and in turn wasting money

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A horse walks in to a bar. The barman says: "Why the long face?" The horse does not reply because it is a horse and can neither speak nor understand English. The horse is startled by it's surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables on it's way out.

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I'm not saying my mother-in-law is fat, because she is anorexic.

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how do you confuse a brunette? paint yourself red and throw a fridge at her

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how many dirty stinkin apes does it take to put in a lightbulb? 3 dirty stinkin apes, 1 dirty stinkin ape to put in the lightbulb and 2 dirty stinkin apes to throw feces at each other

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Q: What do you call black guys running down a hill? A: Black guys running down a hill.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops