What did john say to bob Hey bob

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Boy: Did it hurt? Girl: (sigh) Did what hurt? Boy: When you broke through the Earth's crust emerging from hell.

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Knock Knock. Who's There? I have cancer.

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Whats on my leg? A pimple. What is it doing? Releasing a white/clear puss.

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hi

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom? Because the p is silent!

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Yo mama's chest is so flat that it's because she has stage five breast cancer and had to get both her breasts removed.

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European on my shoes, buddy.

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When life gives you lemons.............. take them free stuff is awesome.

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What do you call a black man approaching your car in uniform whose name happens to be Darius? Officer Darius.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Boo Boo who? I don't have a last name, it's just Boo

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What's a bench painted red white and blue all over? An American BENCH.

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Roses are red violets are blue I don't know you so get away from me.

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whats funnier then a children's hospital..... it catching on fire.

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What's the difference between a guy who sees the glass half empty and a guy who sees the glass half full? The first guy is happier because his tables tip more than the second guy's.

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A handless Asian boy was riding his bike through the park with some friends. One of his friends puts his arms in the air and yells "Look! No hands!" The handless boy rides his bike home, crying and thinking about how one day he would like to say, "Look! No hands!" without people getting nauseous.

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What do you get when you mix Lil Wayne and Lil John? A full size John Wayne

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Wanna hear a dead baby joke? Of course you don't. they're sick and disgusting and enjoyment of one merits only the deepest of society's hatred and scorn.

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So, my friend David hasn't always been the sharpest tool in the shed. After all, he is a spoon.

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how do you keep a black kid from jumping on the bed? pick up a parenting book ask him nicely try a time out not care because he's a kid and hes supposed to jump on beds?

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So a blonde, brunete, and red head are all on the side of the road for prostitution. so a man walks up to the red head with money. she takes it and runs off. a man goes up to the bruenete and hands her money, but she also takes it and runs. so a man walks up to the blond with money and she says "wait...we get paid to do this?"

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A very nervous looking black man walks into a bar full of white people, however, the white people are accepting of all races, so they invite him to sit next to them.

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Could not care less if he is jealous, too busy living it up, anyways thanks for notifying me, and guys, I know I could call up the office and tell you all that you wont get paid if you remain reading my comments, I might not be leading by example today, but I suggest you get back to work, as for the case whose name we do not reveal here, my part is done, yes I know, you can find it under cabinet C in my office, the thick file with the color pictures (the only one with color pictures) And that is why I am taking a break, now please get back to work, as I said I could just call down at every damn office room, but that would be unfair for those that are not on horsecrap network. Thanks people, keep the flag flying. Nero your overlord Fuck formalities, im not at work today.

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i threw my line in the toilet the fishing was pretty shity that day

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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