- Anti Joke

Q: what did Timmy get for his 8th birthday A: killed MR

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get hit by a car and die.

Why did the seagull fly over the sea, It had wings.

Why does Snoop Dog carry an umbrella? For rain.

two paraplegics walk into a bar. oh wait...

What do you call a man named Mark? Mark

Knock, Knock Who's there? Dave. Dave, who? Dave, your neighbor, I ran out of eggs making a quiche, could I borrow a few?

How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb? One.

What did the Unicorn do with the Portal gun? Nothing. Neither of them are real.

Whats the difference between a phone and a mexican? You can't dial a mexican.

How many seals does it take to unscrew a lightbulb? Depends on how high the ceiling is.

why was six afraid of seven? it's a long story, and six doesn't want to talk about it.

How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb? None. Mice don't have the strength required to do that.

I may have Alzheimer's, but at least I don't have Alzheimer's.

Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzheimers Roses are red

What do you call a dog riding a bicycle? An talented dog.

What happens when you put the batteries in BACKWARDS in the Energizer Bunny? Nothing. Nothing happens when you insert batteries backwards

Q.If I have four apples and billy has 4 oranges, how many pancakes will fit on the roof. A. 3 because aliens like purple hats.

"HEY DUMB FU** THIS STUFF IS SUPPOSED TO BE FUNNY!!!" SAID SIMON COWELL!!!

Why Cant michael J Fox draw a perfect circle? Because he is dying of Parkinson's disease.

where did suzie go when the bomb hit her?? Everywhere

What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot

Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops