Why did the girl need a peice of gum after spending 20 minutes parked in the truck with her boyfriend? Because she had spent the last 20 minutes eating sweets, which she couldnt let her mom know she had eaten because her mom calls her fat everyday even though she only weighs 110 pounds, and forces her to only eat vegetables.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Did you go swimming in the Carribean Ocean? Yes, a shark ate my body, and killed me! Thank God I'm still alive!

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did the apple say to the carrot? Nothing, apples don't talk

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the other monkey fall out of the tree? It was taped to the other monkey

thumb_up thumb_down -9

"Do you have Prince Albert in a can?" "No." "Good. Tobacco causes cancer."

thumb_up thumb_down -9

You walk into a plane full of Arabs talking about how much they hate America. You arrive at your destination enlightened about the problems in American society.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did the white man say to the black man that sneezed? -Bless you.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did the farmer say when he found his tractor? "There's my tractor."

thumb_up thumb_down -9

what do you do after throwing a water bottle in the trash? Hug a tree

thumb_up thumb_down -9

If everyone in China jumped up and down at the same time they would lose all credibility as a nation for organising such a pointless excursion.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Tulips can be of multiple colors.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why w\s the English man, the French man, the German man, the Indian man, the Chinese man, the Irish man, the American man and the russian man all on a train together? They where going to the olympics.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Your father must be an alien because he's driving a UFO

thumb_up thumb_down -9

In Soviet Russia, people commonly suffered under the might of the communist juggernaut. It was unpleasant.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

a kid was running across the street. he just got hit by a truck

thumb_up thumb_down -9

roses are green, violets are yellow, I am a hybridizer.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do the holocaust and new born babies have in common? Nothing. Except some babies are born in Germany.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did Johnny throw his money on the floor? Because he was giving it to charity

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Knock Knock No one's home Okay, I'll come back later.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Skinny guy: Hey wanna hear a yo mama joke? Fat mother: Hey you wanna die?

thumb_up thumb_down -9

How do you make a blonde woman act in a porno? You get her consent and pay her money.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What happens when a women becomes pregnant? She gives birth to a child 9 months later.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

I started a pottery course where the two instructors looked like Demi Moore and Patrick Swayze. The only other student looked like Whooping Goldberg. This teacher to student ratio proved invaluable as I am hoping to make a living as an artist and really appreciated all the extra attention.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

How do you make a black person mad? Set his house on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops