What do you say when you walk into an optical? "Hello, can I order a cheeseburger?"

What do you call a man with no legs, and one arm? Whatever his name happens to be.

A blonde woman is creating an account for a website when she gets the "enter the following" box. The box says"How are you". She looks down at the bottom seeing the answer and puts"Good!".

knock, knock who's there? boo boo who? sorry i dont know anyone named boohoo so get the hell off my lawn

anti-joke.ru - russian style

David Copperfield (the magician you moron). "I will now perform my greatest act yet!" Everyone applauded as he put the screaming woman (for effects you know) into the first end of the meatgrinder, and surprisingly grinded meat came out the other side! And the woman? She disappeared... forever! *applause* Moral: BRAVO! BRAVO!

Why can't Stevie Wonder read? He has retinopathy of prematurity and was born blind.

What did the college student do during her Spring Break in Mexico? We're not sure, she never came back.

hey girl, My Gyarados is BIG enough for you to ride it ALL day and night

Where did the AIDS victim go on vacation? To the hospital.

What did the black man say to the fat Irish lady? Hi.

why am i so sexy? I was raised by a dog.

Roses are red. Violets are blue. You honstly thought i would cry over you? Well guess what player, You just got played too!

What did the pepper say to Mr. Peno? Hallo peno!

Where did Wendy decide to work for her part time job? TACO BELL

How many NRA members does it take to change a lightbulb? MORE GUNS!

What did Dmitri say to all his friends? Nothing he has no friends

why couldnt the black man fly, becuse his master said he coudnt.

What do you call a guy with no legs and no arms? Mat.

what do you call a bomb in a plane? A dangerous threat to lives

Q: Why was the teacher sad? A: Because she got fired

What does the president and the prime minister of china have in common, Sickle cell anemia. 342

His face was drawn, but the curtains were real.

Yo mama is so fat, we are all concerned about her weight.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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