Who the heck do you think you are?! Ally...duh

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Have you heard the one about the dead guy? Neither has he.

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why was Lucy fat? Her BMI was over the recommended average.

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Whats worse than one bee sting? Two bee stings. Whats worse than two bees stings? The holocaust. Whats worse than the holocaust? Three bee stings. Now, if you have been well-educated you should be able to tell the problem with this joke. Unless you know someone whos jewish and lived during the holocaust, you couldn't be sure if three bee stings was actually worse than the holocaust. If ou do however, thats good for you, keep it to yourself.

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What's the difference between a Obama and a drug-dealer? I don't know what? I don't know, I was asking if you know...

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Roses are red Roses are white and I one time saw a purple one

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What's sadder than a lost puppy? A dead puppy.

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Urban ghettos

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How long does it take to paint a house with babies? It matters how hard you throw them.

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What brown and sticky? A sticky turd

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Q: What's the difference between a truck full of bowling balls and a truck full of dead babies? A: You can't unload a truck full of bowling balls with a pitchfork.

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whats worse than biting your apple and finding a worm? WWII.

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How do you make a 4 year old cry? You tell him all his family died in a horrible plane crash.

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a boy put a blanket oveer his head one night... He was warm for the rest of the night

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A princess decided to kiss a frog in the hopes that it would turn into a handsome prince, as she found none of her suitors to her taste. The frog was incredibly poisonous and she died of total organ failure three days later.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There was no traffic for miles and the chicken was in search of basic needs.

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Whats black, dead, and hangs from a tree in my backyard? Your Mom

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"Is your fridge running?" "Yes, I believe so" "You'd better go make sure, because I put some chicken in there and it didn't seem very cold to me"

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A thought for the day: Life is like a game of chess. In the constant struggle for power, control and safe positions it makes no difference whether one plays white or black. As long as everything is planned and one stays a few moves ahead, everything will work out. Just don't annoy the queen, or she may send some very irate knights to fork you or a bishop to flank you. [L]

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Q: How many dwarfs does it take to change a light bulb? A: 1 or 2. One to change the light bulb and maybe another one to guards the staircase for the safety of the first one when the ceiling is too high (Wich happens almost every time because they are dwarfs.)

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I don't get it

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What happend to the man who walked into a forrest? He got raped by a giant vicious mutant spider

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What did the chocolate milk say? Yoo-hoo.

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What do a fish and a bird have in common? They both live under water. Apart from the bird.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops