how much does a pirate pay for an earing? $2.50

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In Soviet Russia its very cold

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What did the gay man say to the other gay man? “How was your day?“

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Man 1: youre going to die Man 2: why? Man 1: everyone dies

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Two men walk into a bar, the third man ducks.

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A man walks into a bar and the the llama next store sprouted wings and flew Then a potato says hi to a iPod but unfortunatly the iPod can't talk. Meanwhile hello kitty and ducks wage a nuclear war and the rise of ostriches Started. The a giant cucumber started falling of mt. Everest and killed many Flying platipuses were saved. Then aliens started invading and the world ended.

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Know what's worse than being publicly embarrassed in front of your crush? Jeffrey dahmer

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Whats skinny, round, tall, smells like a dead baby, hard, small, and fat? nothing

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The AIDS patient was gay

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What do Kenyans do at night? Starve.

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Person A: Is your refrigerator running? Person B: Yes Person A: Good! Now, your milk won't spoil.

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Your mama is so poor that she is on welfare, but she is ashamed to tell you and cries herself to sleep every night.

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Who owns the streets of Comton The mayor

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I like my girls like my wisky. Strong, tastes and the leading cause of liver damage.

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. The first muffin turns to the second and says "it sure is getting hot in here!". The second muffin looks over and responds "this makes no sense - we shouldn't be capable of speech, let alone self-awareness." "We probably should try to get out of here, though."

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A unicorn is walking down the street and a man asks him: "Why so horny" The unicorn then slap the man upside the head because that was none of his business.

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what happens when you wake up inception

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What does an elephant and a red soda have in common? Neither collects stamps.

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Where do you find a dog with no legs? Where you last put it.

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Roses are red Violets are red I stabbed the gardener.

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Why do black people like chicken? It's usually fried.

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What is the speed limit in front of Liberace's house? 40mph because that portion of the road is curved.

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What a wonderfuuuul wooorld: Would this not be a wonderful world if we instead of killing innocent children, just gRaped them hard and painfully in every damn hole and let them go home? Ad: Consider the life of the poor children, Just 0rape them hard!... For love! Awww... Moral: What moral You see any moral here? XD No Not Nerometal, I am that "leader of the Neronist... whatever" Yes, that is who I am. Real moral: "Seriously who is gonna listen to some kid who is just (severely) butthurt anyway huh? Cut their tongues off! Just do not kill them... For a wonderful world..." <3 (Not a heart lol)

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What is E.T. short for? He has small legs

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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