A horse walks into a bar. The bartender jokingly asks him, "Why the long face?!" The horse replies, "I was just diagnosed with cancer."

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Q: What's brown and sticky? A: A stick.

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why does the octopus have no friends? because they're anti social by nature

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How come Hellen Keller couldn't drive? Because she was blind and deaf, therefore incapable of performing such a task.

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what happened to the boy who asked for a hit from the bong? he got punched in the face.

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Where should a 500 pound alien go? On a diet.

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why was the vampire sad? his last victim had aids.

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worst name for a club in alaska club baby seal

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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what did the jewish man say to the christian man on the first day of hannukah? i like basketball

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I like my girls like my wisky. Strong, tastes and the leading cause of liver damage.

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What is the difference between a Jew and a canoe? A canoe tips.

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A dog walks in to a Western Union, walks up to the cashier and says "I'd like to buy a telegram, please." The cashier says "Alright, what would you like it to say?" "I'd like it to say 'bow-wow-wow, bow-wow-wow" replies the dog. "Okay. You know, you can add another 'bow-wow-wow' to the message free of charge," the cashier informs. The dog says, "Well, that just wouldn't make any sense."

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Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left him.

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what do you get from sleeping with a hooker? An orgasm

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what is the biggest lie in the universe? -click to enter only if you are 18

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Roses are red Violets are red I stabbed the gardener.

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Why did the orange have to wear a tie to the party? Because Rodric the Pear suggested it.

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What is the only thing worse than being a smelly Jew in 1944? Being a Jew in 1944 to hit the showers.

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knock knock. who's there? Ida Ida who? Idanno, don't ask me.

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Steve, what do I write on a 3946 if more than two vehicles were involved?

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What was the pirate movie rated? PG-13.

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Q.Who do you call a lesbian. A.Shhaammmmm

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William came home from school and was very tired. He went to the kitchen and got a chocolate bar. Then he died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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