One sunny Tuesday morning, Tom and his friends were outside playing at the park. Then, suddenly, a violent storm was rapidly approaching. It was recommended that everyone should seek shelter immediately.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the water? A: Shark bait.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the teacher ask her student about the test? Because she was in the hospital the day of the test because her husband was hit by a rail road spike and died but she was so devoted to her job she wanted to know.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

yo mamma so fat that when she goes out in high heels she comes back in flip flops

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What two Mexicans call a stray cat? Gato

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did the Scientist say after he created Frankenstein? - I just created Frankenstein.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

why are you reading these jokes? i have nothing else to do. ok

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did the red apple say when it saw a black man an irish man, and an asian walk into a bar? nothing apples cant talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Wooooah! Thats literally the sound I made, anyway, can you like type the entire story in one setting, I feel weird, did you just try to hypnotize me? Anyway, are you trying to, woah, I am like high now...

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A magician was driving down the road and turned into a driveway...

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did the baseball coach say to his son? Nothing. He was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do gay kittens eat? Cat food. Friskies and Fancy Feast are both popular brands.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

The good part of "Age" of Ultron? THANOS REIGNS! Disagree? Just leave the green thumb and fuck off!

thumb_up thumb_down +12

If you woke up in the morning feeling like P Diddy, get tested. Immediately.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why can't black people swim? Many of them can. It's racist to assume that.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Your momma is so ugly that when she stepped on the mirror, it broke.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

two flowers in a meddow recently bloomed a cow came over and ate them, and the cow died of herpes the next day

thumb_up thumb_down +12

I like my wine just like how I like my woman 5 years old and in my basement.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why isn;t the square root of peanut butter very athletic?.Actually, peanut butter isn't a mathematical equation nor does it have the necessary chemical make-up, physical properties or the biological construct that is required for it to be able to be considered athletic, stupid. You now have a inoperable tumor at the base of your spine. And I fucked your dad and shat in his mouth. Also, the cure for leukemia is my diarrhoea, you faggot.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's the only thing better than winning a gold medal in the special olympics? Not being retarded.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

whats black white and red all over an abused child

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Whats long, black, and fat? The line at KFC

thumb_up thumb_down +12

So, a man walks into a bar. His alcoholic habits are slowly tearing apart his marriage.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops