A duck walks into a bar. The bartender says what will it be? The duck replies "lemonade!"

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Real Joke: The US Air Force operates Seymour Johnson Air Force Base. It is named for a seaman. Go look it up.

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How did Billy tip the cow? He didn't, cows are animals and that would be wrong.

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what did johnny's dad say to him after his baseball game? nothing because johnny's dad was an abusive alcoholic who beat him until the neighbors found out and called the police. the dad was arrested, tried in court then promptly thrown in jail were he was raped in the showers repeatedly by a very large and intimidating black man. he vomited suicide in his cell today by drinking drain cleaner

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what do you call a man who is addicted to alcohol... an alcoholic

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What did the alchoholic get for his birthday? Nothing. His alchohol abuse split up is family and now he is alone.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock? Whos there? Not Sally...

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Q: What's better than winning a gold medal at the Special Olympics? A: Not struggling with a debilitating mental or physical handicap.

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You need to trim these evergreens. Either they are getting low our my van is GROWING!

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PENIS that is all

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Pandas Everywhere!!!

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What's the same between a bike and a duck? They both have wheels. Except for the duck.

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Q:What did the midget say to the toll booth operator? A: Is your family dead too?

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What has four wheels and flies? A pile of poop that's on four wheels.

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How many Jews do you have to kill in order to make a museum? 6 Million.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Your mom. Your mom who? Its your mom now open the danm door!

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What could be worse than a giant paint bubble? The Holocaust.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police. Open up. We have a warrant for your arrest.

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Why was the drunk man arrested? he beat his wife and was sentenced too 3 months in federal prison

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Have you seen the newest starwars? What movie? I mean that episode where stars fight... Will Smith vs Keanu Reeves? I am talking about the stars in the sky firing at each other! You know, those star pilots on planes... Flown by Will Smith and Keanu Reeves? BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM! (You heard that one in your head)

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A man walks into a bar.. and has a bomb strapped to his chest

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Q: How many burgers did little Johnny eat? A: Involuntary erections.

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What did the man say to the tree? Nothing, he was a mime.

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A rabbi walks into a bar mitzwa.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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