A bartender walks up to a church and a synagogue

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Father Murphy met Samuel Myer on the street. Sam it's been a month o' Sundays since I've seen you. You look propserous. How's the moile business? A snip better, Father, since we talked last. And thank you. For what, Sam? Well the last time we met you asked what I did with the foreskins. Well, here is the answer, my new business. What's this, a wallet. But so smooth, Sam. Yeah, Father, but when you rub it. Rub it, Sam? Yeah when you rub it it falls apart. And you have to buy a new one! Mazel Tov!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

.sdrawkcab siht gnidaer era ouy ,siht daer nac ouy fI

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you call a deer with no eyes? A deer. The fact that it has no eyes doesn't change the species.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

I beheld M.Bison/Raul Julia, as I fell down from the sky LIKE LIGHTNING! Your friendly r*pist Moral Man: You don`t like me? MAAN That gets me on... As for Horny, I was born with two of them... The third is a burning stake. ...So you like me... Meh! No fun when they don`t struggle nor squeal, even if they do scream in pain...

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the student say to the teacher, after being assigned homework? This isn't my best subject, can I stay after class for tutoring?

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Parent: Please, my son have sinned. Please cleanse him from his sins. Priest: Hmmm, it may be hard to cleanse him from his demons. You may leave him in my car today. We shall enter the dark chambers where we will battle your demons Parent: Thankyou Priest: Alone, in the dark. It will be painful for him, but he shall be cleansed *wink* Parent: whut?

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What is a turkey? The offspring of a turtle and a monkey.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What is yellow and can shot? A Banon.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How do you get your dog to stop peeing on the floor? SHOOT IT!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the black man go to Jail? He was visiting his friend!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

www.xnxx.com

thumb_up thumb_down +4

So I was walking along the beach one day and I see this whale. Then this dolphin named Lennie came up and was like, "Hey whale, how've you been? I haven't seen you in a while." And the whale was like, "Sorry, but I can't talk to you." And Lennie was like, "Whyever not?" And the whale said, "Because I'm not a starfish!"

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Roses are red My name is Dave This poem makes no? sense Microwave

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why was the boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his forehead.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the woman scream when she saw the mouse? Because she's afraid of technology.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

I don't know about the rest of you, but I HATE funerals.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Nathan likes butt games with African American men

thumb_up thumb_down +4

a man walks into the bar and gets knocked out

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Joey: hey bobby who you talking to? Bobby: oh yeah I forgot to tell you your mom died.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Your momma's so fat: She regrets not making the most of her youth whilst she was still attractive.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

My mom farted, now it smells, ewe. My mom just took of her shirt, BONER! My, friends mom took off her shirt, now he has a boner. We both have boners, and it smells bad. This is weird, me and my friend are very similar, except my mom farted and his mom did not. Now I hate my mom. UN-BONER!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Knock knock Who's there? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's brown and red? I lied about the red, it's dirt.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops