"I had angry birds before it was cool." -Alfred Hitchcock

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What do you get when you cross bread an eagle, a wolf and shark together? I don't know, but I'm pretty sure it will kill all of us!

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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Why did the black man jump high? He was on a pogo stick

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What did the man do when he got home from work? Hit his wife.

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Two men fought over a bag of peanuts. The peanuts won.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Your mother. Please open the door. Your mother who? You were adopted.

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I am tying up hostages. - Ethan R. 2015

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When is a great time to eat chicken fingers? Never Chickens dont have fingers therefore making it misnamed and impossible to eat them

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You sick fiend

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Where did Mary go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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River Ravi flows in which state? Liquid state.

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Q: what did one guy say to another guy? A: I don't know!

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What's stupid a light bulb.

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What is the difference between a painting and Jesus? It only takes one nail to put up a painting

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I pregnant woman wakes in the night because she had a mis-carriage.

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Two cows were in a feild, one said "moo" and the other said "i was going to say that!"

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Why did little Billy not eat all his carrots? He does not care about his vision.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Today is Valentines Day I am depressed

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The word you are looking for is charm, not seduction, I am above such things, and while I have no reason whatsoever to believe either one of us can gain anything from going "eye for an eye", I am sure I can offer whatever financial and even specialized assistance you might require in order to get that eye of yours seeing clearer than before... Worry not, I shall outlaw the name Nero and all the derivations and similarities from my Order, unless someone named Nero actually happens to come by of course...

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So there is this moose and he goes to a grocery store and asks, "where are the potatoes?" the employee says "aisle 5" and when the moose checks in aisle five, there are no potatoes.

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Want to hear a dirty joke? Well... I can't tell you. It's inapropriate.

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69

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I will see it when I believe it, as far as your order or whatever goes, I have already taken a look, and its nothing for me, you hide behind idealism yet use cruel methods and inhuman tactics in order to justify your means, you hide behind a shell of fucking "charm" and employ people to harass others. YOU ARE NO FUCKING BETTER THAN THE REST! YOU ARE BENEATH ME! As for that sister fucking bullshit, joke is on you, I do not have a sister! I bet that was one of your fucking "Nero`s" all six billion of your fucking personality disorders. Moral: I am the FUCKING MORAL MAN! And while I do not have a sister to rape, ill get down with yours.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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