What did spongebob say to patrick? Im ready! im ready!

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What do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex with a woman? A miracle

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OMG, I have a really funny alzheimer's joke. Your'e gonna love it! Uhh, I umm kinda forgot what it was now.

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Llamaworm

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Q. Why did Sally fall off the swing? A. Because she had no arms Q. What smells like red paint and is blue? A. Blue Paint Knock Knock? Who's There NOT SALLY

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a bunch of guys did cocain for the first time. they later died from a drug over dose.

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Whats the difference between a muslim and a christian? They believe in different things.

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1 woman and 2 guys were on a roadtrip. Every single day they would go do the same things. First go to Denny's, then to the mall, then see a horror movie. One day the woman said, "I don't want to go see the horror movie, I'm scared enough!" So the guys agreed that they'd trick the woman into going to a horror movie before Denny's. They went, and the woman was scared out of her mind. She yelled at them both for 30 minutes and to this day never speaks to them.

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The day after Christmas a chain-smoker, a sex addict, and an alcoholic go to the doctor. The doctor tells the three friends that they need to quit their addiction or they will die. R.I.P. Tommy, Jacob, and Winston 1/1/2011

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Q: If Ann has 5 apples and she gives Michael 2 apples, and then Jason comes and rapes Ann. How many apples does Ann have left? R: Who the hell cares, she needs to go to the police.

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What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme This one doesn't.

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Nock nock Who's there K K who? You forgot the K

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What do you call a black guy driving a plane? A terrorist.

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Why did the fat Jew cross the road? To go to the bicycle shop to fix his puncture

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There is no I in team... But there is a u in suck. There is no I in team, but there is in awesome

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What's funnier than 3 midgets in a treehouse? A talented comedian.

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how do you make a plumber cry? you pull its pants up

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I f*cked your mom last night and she liked it. 8====D~~~~

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why wouldn't the man's car work? because it was broken.

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the bible

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If you die, and have 5 cents in your pocket, does the toast still land jelly side down?

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HEY.... HEY YOU..... YEA YOU! IM TALKING TO YOU!!! yolo

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kk

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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