Q: What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the bat mobile? A: Robin get in the bat mobile.

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What did one sausage say to the other? Nothing. Sausages don't talk...

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Long joke Your such a downey

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knock, knock Who's there? Statefarm... and we are always gonna be there for you

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How do you torture Helen Keller? You put her on a table and slowly pull her limbs off

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What did bob get his wife for christmas? Pregnant

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Q: Why did the girl fell from the swing? A: Because she had no arms.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 commited statutory rape on a younger 5, gang banged 8 with 10 and 11, murdered 9, and was sentenced to jail for life.... eventually the case was dropped and 7 was let out early for community service. He told 6 he was coming for him 6 months later.... 6 was so terrified he didn't know what to do... he was living in fear... eventually he commited suicide by jumping off a cliff just off the coach of Palm Beach into the pacific ocean. His body was never found His family didnt get to say good bye... This is why 6 was afraid of 7

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was blind.

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Where would you find a dog with one leg? Possibly in a vet's surgery, or in an animal rescue home or being cared for by a loving owner.

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How many calories are in a bag of Fritos? 160 calories.

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Two guys were Arguing. (A & B) A. You suck B. If i suck then you choke. A. The only way id choke is if i smelled your stank ass breathe. B. The only way id have stank ass breathe is if i was liking your moms vagina A. The only way my mom's pussy would stank is if you were liking it. B. The only way id be liking your moms pussy is if it were a dick.... Both stare at each other... and walk off awkwardly

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your car? I don't know, you should check the zoo's surveillance camera.

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs on a doorstep? A: Matt.

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why do firemen wear red suspenders. I dont know because they go with there hat.

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Roses are black violets are black I can't hear anything I'm Helen Keller .

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How can you tell your not italian? You aint no Guito!

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An incoming freshman introduces himself to his Ethics professor by saying, "What's up?" To which the professor responds, "You should never end a sentence with a preposition." The freshman, who is both clever and witty, quickly responds to his future Professor, saying: "Professor, I practice linguistic description, such that I observe language objectively in a way that does not adhere strictly to grammatical and syntactic dogma". The professor, surprised by the student's philosophical disposition, engages the student in a highly constructive dialogue about the philosophy of language, from which both the student and teacher learn more about each other and themselves.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it can.

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Q:Why did Hitler lose World War II? A:His "gas" bill.

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Why the hell does my sister shower in a swimsuit every time? Its not as if anyone is looking! ALRIGHT! ONCE ALRIGHT? ONLY ONCE! But then she hears the sound of my zipper ONCE and the shit hits the fan! Which is weird, yeah suuure she hears it when I pull it up, but when I pull it down and stroke it and moan? Nada!

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Why did the man jump into the river? He wanted to go for a swim, but the pool was closed, so he swam in the river.

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Well, I'm naked so I'm going to go.

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a black man walked into a black bar. what color was the bar afterwards? the same color. its a drinking spot not a pole

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops