Q: What did Peter say after a long day of work when he got home? A: Nothing, in fact he has job, home, family, or anyone to help him. His leg is pinned down by a large piece of metal that fell on him while looking for food to eat at a construction site, expect him to die of bleeding in the next 24 hours.

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What do you call someone who has slept for 48 hours straight? Dead.

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What did Steven Hawkings say as he fell down the stairs? .................

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But I like being mean and angry! Nevermind, 158 according to Mensa`s standard bullshit test (my wife got 160, I remember we argued a lot over it because I kept insisting they would not use the same predictable pattern again... I overestimated them wildly I can make more advanced stuff than they can, and in no way do I consider myself "The worlds elite required to ensue the future survival and salvation of mankind`s finest and fittest" those fucking arrogant suckers,,,) Below average in any test including American presidents and historical events. Aaand about 450 in any bullshit online test which then offers you "more accurate tests" which cost money and probably destroys the fake confidence any idiot buying such a test in the first place might have built up,

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roses are red violets are blue bullets are lead now i shoot you

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Two polar bears were sitting in a bathtub. One said to the other, "Could you pass the saop?". The other say, "What do you think I am, a typewriter?".

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Q. What happened to the man that kept an open hand? A. He is in jail because he beat his family

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what good about eatting every night knowing that a african want

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What did the rabbi say at the party? Mazel Tov.

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It's green, has four legs and sits in a tree. And if it falls on your head you're dead. A billiard table.

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I was very thirsty so I decided to go get some soda.Upon reaching the soda store I discovered a very long line. I decided to leave the line and instead get some milk, unfortunately once again there was a long line at the milk store. Discouraged by still thirsty I decided to try to luck at the punch store. There was a long line there also.

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Why couldn't the towel talk? Because it didn't have a language.

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so a huge calculator walks into a bar, and a man steps out from behind it, and wipes his forehead.

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Holy mother moley! Britain just brexited! Now there's no more Britain. Britain is all gone.

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Q How do you know when a gay walks into a bar A Albert rushes over and starts feeling him up

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What happened when the paraplegic man went into the bar? Nothing the man couldnt get into the bar because the bar has no wheelchair ramp.

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69

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Why cant a black person read? Because there is nothing to read...

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Q: What did the Rabbi say to the butcher? A: "Do you have the time?"

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what did one wall say to the other wall Nothing because its physically impossible for walls to talk

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I rated up my joke then opened a new tab went to Anti-Jokes.com and rated it again. Problem antijokes?

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Roses Are Blue I Have A Gun And Ill Sout You!

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Your mom is so fat that her Body Mass Index is 30,?which is considered obese, she should really try to lose some weight.

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Why couldn't the boy with no arms and no Legs swim? Because he was black.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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