if life gives you lemons. squeeze one into your moms eye.

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Hey babe, do you like going to sleep without shoes on? Because most people find it more comforting to remove footwear in order to rest and relax peacefully during bedtime.

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What happens when an old lady bumps into a black man in the middle of the night? He politely offers her help getting home and she accepts.

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What do you call it when a blonde jumps off the Empire State Building without a parachute? Suicide.

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Chuck Norris never shows emotion!!!... because he is a pragmatic person and thinks in a more logical manner.

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Me: Ask me if i'm a truck. You: Are you a truck? Me: No.

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Statistically, 9 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape.

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An Irishman walks into a bar he asks for directions, and leaves.

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Whats red and hurts your teeth? A brick

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Is that my bread? I sure hope so.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a tire? It depends on the size of the tire.

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Once you go black, you have a high chance of being in an interracial relationship.

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An american, a mexican, and an asian are on a boat. The boat is sinking because it is too heavy. The people decide to throw off things that they have a lot of in their country. The asian throws rice off the boat saying, "We have plenty of rice at home." The mexican throws tacos off the boat saying, "We have plenty of tacos at home." The american throws out the mexican saying, "We have plenty of mexicans at home."

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What do you call a man with multiple sexual partners? Well, first you strongly urge him to get tested for any contagious and potentially dangerous STD's that could have been transmitted from one partner's genitalia to another person's genitalia which could have very well been he himself. They could be life threatening. Oh, and call him by his first name.

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THAT'S RIGHT, BEST INVISIBLE PAINT I EVER BOUGHT. LOOK WHAT A GREAT JOB IT DID ON THIS PAGE YEAH! I RECKON IT IS THE BEST INVISIBLE PAINT I EVER DIDN'T SEE

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A man was walking down the street in the pitch black dark and he looked into a pitch black dark window. What did he see? Pitch black dark people.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? A blind fish.

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Why did the boy miss the toilet when he was peeing? Cause he was in the shower.

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Black people being friendly.

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What is worse than torture? Not much.

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What did the cow say to the other cow? "Baaa", he had an identity crisis.

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James' father died from being overweight. The next day in the mail, James received a coupon for Skinny's garcinia cambogia pills to help him lost weight. Simply put, it was not a good day for James.

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What did the doctor say to the morbidly obese man? "You should get on a diet. It's a surprise you're even alive for so long with such a bad heart" The next day the man dies while eating celery.

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The Charlotte Bobcats

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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