my egg roll

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was trying to escape the evil villains in giant mech suits.

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What do a cow and a banana have in common? Neither of them is a police officer.

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An elderly man farts during Sunday morning mass. The children around him laugh and then their parents remind them to be respectful.

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What's another word for Manslaughter? My new Hobby

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If you were a pie I'd eat you

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What did the blonde say to the other blonde? "Hey, do you want to get something to eat?"

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What's gayer than Justin Beiber? The guy getting a blowjob from him! Kelvin Yang.

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Why are Asian people bad drivers? Coincidental cases of blurred vision.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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What's green, has six legs and would kill you if it fell on you out of a tree? A pool table.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends how hard you throw them.

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Why does everybody hates Justin Bieber? Just leave that girl alone!

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whaT DID HEVEN SAY TO THE FRIDGE hAVE YOU GOT A COLD

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Henry was struck by a train. He was mourned by his parents.

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David entered a radio contest to see who had the best pun; his pun was insufficient and he did not win.

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Why didn't George Washington get his drivers license? Cars were yet to be invented.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? I don't know, I've never tried to.

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What are the differences between a black man and a park bench? One's a chair and ones a person.

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I'm going to live to be 300 years old or die trying!

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knock knock whose there? banana? banana who? im sorry but you have to go to the doctor now.......

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What do you call a tall midget? Well tall is a relative term so a midget may be considered tall compared to something or someone shorter. Say if a midget was compared to a baby he/she would be considered tall, considering the baby's small height. However midgets are looked at short by most people who are taller than them because of their physical problem that they can do nothing about.

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Two girls are in a car together. The one in the drivers seat is texting while driving. The girl in the passengers seat notices this and tells her the she should put it away in case of a risk of a collision. She apologizes and puts it away and the two of them drive to the store unharmed and continued their normal day.

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Where do dinosaurs go on vacation? Dinosaurs are mainly extinct except for a select few such as crocodiles, which are arguably ancestors of dinosaurs. With this in mind, dinosaurs do not go on vacation because they are dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops