Yo mamma so fat that when she gets in bed she gets sleepy

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Let's get some comments on this one! Everyone add a comment with a quote from a movie! I'll thumbs-up the best comments!

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a camel walks into a bar. it is kicked out because camels are not supposed to be in bars, there camels.

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Two turtles are in a bathtub. One turtle says to the other turtle "Hey, can you pass the soap". The other turtle says "what do you think I am, a toaster?"

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Q. How do you make your dog stop barking? A. Take it to the grocery store. Replace it with any popsicle in the fridge.

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What's yellow and can't swim? A tractor.

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Why couldn't the turtle swim? Because he went too close to an oil spill, the petroleum got into his mouth and coated his lungs and he is now dead.

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What has a black, blue, and red all over? Timmy. He was mugged, and vigorously raped.

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What did the little girl who lost her baby teeth want for Christmas? A pony.

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What did Kony say to the children right before he took them Come with me you f******* n*****

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A man goes up to an old friend and says: "Help me, I just found out that my friend is gay! What should I do!?" The other man replies: "If there is no problem, I cannot help you... Yet, there is one. Your homophobia. I suggest that you see a therapist immediately and I hope that you can get over the fact of the contemplation of a sexuality."

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You know how they say cats have nine lives? They don't.

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how do you poke a chinese person in the eye? with a credit card!

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was very scary.

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Why was the boy upset? His penis fell off and his mom was making him go to the library.

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roses are red violets are indigo

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Q: Why was the gorrilla arrested? A: He broke a law.

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Q. How can you tell if your arm is broken? A. Break it.

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******************************************************** Okay, so there were two muffins in the oven. One muffin said, "Oh my gosh! We're gonna die!" The other muffin said, "Whoa a talking muffin!" **********************************************************

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Why did Obama cross the road? Oh, wait, he didn't make it.

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Why did the man murder his wife? Because she would'nt do the the dishes

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Engage in a lively debate with a friend, and when they are about to stump you, respond to whatever they say next with "What does that have to do with the price of tea in China?"

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You know what turns me on ....? TABLES!! You know what turns me on even more...? TABLES WITH CHAIRS!!!

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That awkward moment when a loved one dies.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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