two penguins are hanging out in Antartica. the one looks to the other an says "man its really cold out" the other quicky waddles away because of the strange alien sound its friend just made

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Two dinosaurs go to a theme park. On the way home they contemplate that they didn't really enjoy themselves. They decide to buy some ice cream to cheer them up a bit. They are severely frustrated by the lack of fun they had for the money they paid. Then they go to sleep. I completely forgot how this joke went, but your mom's a slut.

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Math: "If I have 5 bottles in one hand and 4 in the other, what do I have?" Answer: "An unreasonable amount of bottles to hold in two hands."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To warn the people on the other side that the sky was falling Why did the cow cross the road? cause he had mad-cow disease Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? Cause he's Chuck Norris Why did the Mexican Cross the road? He was on His way to America Why did the black man cross the road? He was walking to his car, racist....just kidding, he was on his way to rob a bank Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass

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A man walks into a bar He is now in the emergency room suffering from deep lacerations to the forehead as well as a bloody nose.

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What did Steve say when his leg got chopped off? Nothing, he went into a state of shock before blacking out due to loss of blood. Later on, he died, and a week later, a funeral was held, in which nobody showed up, because nobody cared for Steve.

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How do you kill Chuck Norris? Shoot him in the face.

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What do you call a black guy holding a crate of watermelons? a farmer

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Why did the chickecross the roe? Because I was bein chased by an angry group o mobsters that 8 years ago were busted by the chicken when he was still working for NYPD and found them all in an ally and busted them for later discovered tax evasion and then 2 years later they found a way ou of prison and tracked down the chicken for 6 years until they found him in road island 4509 lake side estates and then proceeded to chase him onto and across a road that was near by to his lake side apartment and then they go tire and we. Back to their HQ in NY and then the leader of the gang went home and in a depression fuels rage mersiouy beat his wife then went up stairs and threw his 9 year old son out the window and hanged himself. The chicken also died because 8 years is at the top of their lifespan.

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A chicken walks into a bar and orders a beer. Just kidding chickens cant talk and animal control was called

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There are two angry guys in a park on their lunch break What do they do? They eat their sandwich and go back to work to settle a peace treaty.

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how do you kill chuck norris? you dont, killing is illegal

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Wats blue and always in the sky?? Cheese! Except cheese is not blue and it is not always in the sky... By Rachael Mcmullan

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Knock Knock Who's there? UPS you have a package from Amazon. \ Oh, Thanks, where do I sign? Right here. Ok, thanks, have a nice day. Thanks you too.

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what's the difference between a crocodile?

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When will pigs fly? When they grow horns

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, We've just had sex, Now you have aids too....

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm not good at poems, nice tits.

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Why didn't the cat eat its dinner? Because I nailed its head to the floor.

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A. Why did the chicken cross the road? B. I don't know, why? A. I asked first.

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A white guy, a black guy, an Asian guy, and a hispanic guy are standing before a cliff. They proceeded to take lovely pictures.

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Every human being has some kind of penis <3

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Q: what's yellow and can't use chopsticks. A: corn

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What's worse than waking up next to an ugly girl? Waking up, sealed in a coffin which is floating on a raft traversing through shark-infested waters. Oh, and the raft is on fire.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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