One day a terribly epileptic child is put on on a strict Atkins diet by his loving mother. A week later he finds that the frequency and intensity of his seizures have been reduced by its ketogenic effects, which provides exogenous fats for the body to burn, but limits the available carbohydrate so that ketone bodies build up. It is the high level of these ketones which appear to suppress seizures.

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Whats worse than getting a papercut on the side of your finger? Being shotgunned in the ass

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Your legs are more open than my back door! Which is closed.

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A blonde, brunette, brown walk into a hair salon. They then proceed to each get they're own procedures done then leave not having any contact with each other.

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yo mama is so old, so old that she was given senior citizen discount at the restaurant.

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Q. What's cold and has no feelings? A. A pole

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Emily Walker.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Q: why did the 10 year old squirt his dad with the water hose? A: what 10 year old WOULDN'T?

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Larry The Cableguy....thats it.

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WWII veteran screamed! "You damn yellow monkey" "But sir... ...my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

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what's black and can't swim? a black refrigerator

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Knock Knock ! Who's there? Jim. Oh come in.

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*The doctor walks in* Knock knock. Whos there? Doctor. Doctor Who?

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What do you say to a cat with a helmet on? Silly cat, you rhyme with hat but you shouldn't wear one.

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Q: What do Captain Jack Sparrow, Captain Crunch, Captain Morgan and Captain Kangaroo all have in common? A: They are all caucasian

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Fire extinguisher? One puts out a fire the other one fuels it.

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Whats worse than getting an eye gouged out? Getting both eyes gouged out?

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How do you shock a child? Attach a metal pole to them while there is a storm

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I enjoy Popcorn

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Why did the Black guy work at KFC? To provide money for his struggling family.

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Whats the difference between a baby and a bowling ball? I dont have a bowling ball stapled to my tree

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Michael Jackson and Barack Obama talked to each other about oreos

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What's brown and sticky? Anal

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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