Why did the blonde stay in the five-star hotel? She had enough money.

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A blonde was told to go to the into the nearby swimming pool and sniff the Scratch-and-Sniff sticker on the bottom. Once at the bottom, she quickly realized that it was not a good idea and swam back to the surface.

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Q: What do you call four black guys hanging in a barn? A: Farm tools

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Did you know Hellen Keller had a tree house? Yeah..neither did she.

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A man wearing dark sunglasses walks into a convenience store with a dog on a leash. He goes to the middle of the store, and he starts swinging the dog around over his head by the leash. The store clerk comes over and asks, "what are you doing?" The man replies, "Ajiohskdcojqpowuskncvlkzb" Not knowing what else to do, the clerk calls 911. It turns out the man's name is Ruprict, and he has escaped from the local mental institution. A police officer shortly arrives to bring Ruprict back to the hospital.

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Pope: how to help the unfortunate people my fellow Christians? Christians: We should give donations and a lot of support. What we always do. Pope: and i shall wear this golden hat, sit on a high quality super expensive chair, this rope with gold attached to the decorations, and wave my golden staff as you help these poor innocent children. Christians: yes...that... Pope: P.S: and live in an expensive church with many children alone.

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Whats brown and sticky? ..Poo

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Q: Why does Bill Gates give so much money to charity? A: Because he wants to improve the lives of his fellow human beings, and also excessive wealth would be detrimental to his children.

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What did the doctor tell his patient? Unfortunately you have cancer.

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What floats in the toilet and looks like a log? A log.

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I'm not wearing underwear. Why? Because I have built in underwear. :)

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how do you know when you've had too much to drink? . . . when you're dead.

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if ruddel jumped on your back what do you do leave him on or pull him offf? shoot him.

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Scenario: Two guys are out hunting. Two guys are walking and a one falls down. The other calls 911 and the guy still standing asks what to do. The person at the hospital told him to make sure his friend was dead, then heard a gunshot. The guy who called said "Now what do I do?"

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting your balls chewed off by a rottweiler.

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Why didn't the teenager go to high school? He was murdered

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How many dead babies can you fit a bathtub??? It depends on how you slice them!

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1 + 1 = 2 If it was equal to 11 the problem would be impossible

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Q: What is black and white, black and white, black and white? A: A Nun falling down the stairs.

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Why wasn't Susie happy? because she was raped by her grandfather.

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Q: How do mentally retarted people read books A: They dont

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How many dead babies does it take to change a lightbulb? None they're dead.

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tennis grunts . . . no different from sex noises

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What do you call a black drug dealer? A black man that works as a drug dealer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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