How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at it.

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Hey I just met you And this is crazy But I didn't use protection So here's your baby

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What did the Dark Knight say to the Policeman? I'm Batman

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roses are green violets are green i was drunk last night

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An astronaut and a cosmonaut are sitting in a bar, discussing who was better. The cosmonaut says, "We Russians were the first people in space!" The astronaut says, "That may be true, but we were the first to land on the moon my friend." The cosmonaut turns back to the astronaut and says, "Yes, but we shall be then first to ever land on the Sun!" So, the astronaut skeptically asks, "And how do you intend to do that?" The cosmonaut replies, "Simple.......we will go at night." Thank you to David Cross

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Why did the white woman press charges against the black guy? Because he raped her

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why did the chicken cross the road? to form the basis of an extremly popular jokewhich would grace the schoolyards around the world for centurys to come!

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Why was the elf sad Because a polar bear ate his family

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why do woman love the twilight books? i have no idea woman can't read

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A man says hello to his best friend in the morning like he always does. Why did his best friend not reply? The mans best friend is not real and is actually a figment of the mans imagination because he has been suffering from a severe case of schizophrenia his whole life and has many imaginary friends.

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What did the farmer say when his cow got stuck in a tree? - "Get down"

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What happens when you ask a blind guy to drive you somewhere? What happens if you ask a blind guy to drive? You will end up in a four way accident with 8 people dead 2 of which children and 1 baby. You might survive but the blind guy won't so you will have to go to court for him on the issue. You realize that you are terrible when it comes to the law and you get yourself thrown in jail for 2 years. When you get out you are so tired of getting butt raped that you go out and do it to someone else. Then you go back to jail an the process repeats it's self because this is the American justice system. We could work on it a little bit. But yeah, don't ask a blind guy to drive, your butt says thanks.

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Q: Why is 6 afraid of 7? A: 7 is a registered sex offender.

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Why are people so quiet at golf game? Because its such a boring sport.

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why did the baby start crying? because he was very hungry and hadn't been feed all day

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so your paddling up stream in a cement canoe, one wheel falls off. how many pancakes does it take to shingle a dog house? 46 cause bears dont like eggs.

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what did the mother say to the banana? I'm going to eat you like your father.

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Yo mama is so fat that she is in a diet and wants to lose weight by eating healthy.

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What did Han Solo say to Chewy before they got in the Millennium Falcon? Chewy, get in the ship.

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Whats worse than a dumpster full of dead babies? A landfill full of dead babies.

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what word starts with 'p' and ends in 'orn'? popcorn you sickos

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Why the moron throw the clock out the window? Because he was a moron.

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why did the boat crash? a tomato was driving

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What's white and red all over? A white guy who walked in the ghetto.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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