- Anti Joke

Roses are blue Violets are red I'm bad at poetry Potato

Why did the old man die? He died because he saw the light wich happened to be a street light in the distance.

Why was the black guy sitting in the back of the bus? Because there were no more seats available in the front.

It's okay, I got the yogurt.

Whats long, black, and fat? The line at KFC

One day a terribly epileptic child is put on on a strict Atkins diet by his loving mother. A week later he finds that the frequency and intensity of his seizures have been reduced by its ketogenic effects, which provides exogenous fats for the body to burn, but limits the available carbohydrate so that ketone bodies build up. It is the high level of these ketones which appear to suppress seizures.

When were in a zombie apocalypse I will make sure to save you for 40 days and then I will sacrifice you

What did the doctor say to the morbidly obese man? "You should get on a diet. It's a surprise you're even alive for so long with such a bad heart" The next day the man dies while eating celery.

What did the black person say when his white friend said "Nigga!"? "You know, I really don't get racist jokes like this."

How many jews does it take to change a light bulb? None, you don't have to be jewish to change a light bulb

why did the shark bite the surf board? It thought it was turtle.

Chuck Norris doesn't do push-ups. He prefers to bench press.

A priest walks into a drug den, most people would say this is pretty contradictory to his implied beliefs.

Why was the boy crying? Because he got hit by a bus. Why did he get hit by a bus? Because his mom was laughing. Why was his mom laughing? Because she was driving the bus. Why was she driving the bus? Because the boy fell off a swing. Why did he fall off a swing? Because he didn't have any arms. Why didn't he have any arms? Because his diabetic monkey had the flu. Why did his diabetic monkey have the flu? Because the boy was crying.

Knock Knock Who's there? Rapist :(

Why was Johnny so mad at his father? Because his father had a constant drinking problem and was very abusive.

A man with tourettes walks into a bar, due to his disease he shouts unexpected profanities across the room; everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the pressure anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom and pulls out a gun and points it at his head. HIs wife of 15 years walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to conceive. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man diagnosed with touretts then goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. After he killed everybody he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentanced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man with touretts still cannot control his ticks and rots in jail everyday screaming obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

A: Knock, Knock B: Whos there? A: Noone, the door and the visitor are both existential figments of your imagination.

A man walks into a bar, and he died.

There's a redhead, a brunette and a woman with green hair walking down the street. A man asks them how they all came to have such beautiful and vibrant hair color. The redhead smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The brunette smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The woman with green hair blows her nose, and replies "It isn't natural, I'm rebelling against society's conformist ideals. Also I was not loved enough as a child." She has a cold.

2 men walk into a bar, the 3rd man ducks and ask them if they're ok

Why was the plumber sad? Because his family died in a car crash

roses are red violets are red the whole world is red i started the holocaust

A flea walks into a bar. Nobody notices because it is a very small insect

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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