How can a man go 8 days without sleeping? Sleep at night.

whats then difference between a jew and a pizza ? A pizza doesnt scream when its put in the oven .

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I've got a shotgun, Give me the money.

How do you kill a blonde? Put a scratch n sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool

big fat hairy gigantic enourmous erectionn CC

Q: Why'd the guy have to fart? A: There was a buildup of methane gas in his colon.

"Where are my shoes?" asked the man. "On your feet," I replied. "You are a paraplegic and have no feeling from the waist down."

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was blind.

I have read and agreed to the Terms of Service

Knock Knock Jehovah's witnesses!

hey i just met you, and this is crazy, i have alzheimers, hey i just met you

What's the difference between a black man and and a bag of crap? A lot, but mostly the bag

A priest, a rabbi, and a buddhist monk walk into a bar. The bartender says " What are you drinking?"

What's the easiest way to make new friends? With Play-Doh.

A horse walks into a bar. The barman says 'who the f*ck let a horse in here, get it out now'.

A: Where does a cow go on the weekends? B: To the mooooovies? A: No, to the slaughterhouse.

what does 2+2equals? i think its 3 but i could be wrong

Why did john have to have back surgery He needed his back "screwed" up

How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

Two girls are in a car together. The one in the drivers seat is texting while driving. The girl in the passengers seat notices this and tells her the she should put it away in case of a risk of a collision. She apologizes and puts it away and the two of them drive to the store unharmed and continued their normal day.

What's the difference between a horse and a house? 1 letter.

A Jewish boy walks up to his father and says: Dad, can I borrow 50 dollars? The dad responds: 40 dollars?!? What are you going to do with 30 dollars?!?

A ginger kid, a blonde kid and a brunette jump off a 50 foot building... All of them die apart from all of them because luckily there was a swimming pool at the bottom

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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