Doctor: I'm sorry about your disease, young man. It looks like your time is up. Man: NO! How much time to I have? Doctor: Five. Man: Five years? Five months? Five weeks? Doctor: Four... Three...

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whats worse than getting ur penis cut off......no holocaust

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Why wasnt the black man entitled to a social welfare cheque? Because he made quite good money at a nearby hospital, where he worked as a doctor

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What happened to the man who ate a piece of pizza after doing a lot of sit ups, while rubbing the belly of a fat man, and feeding his baby at the same time? He Lived

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There were two blondes at an ATM. One was entering her PIN number and the other one says, "Haha! I know your password! It's ****!" The other one replies, "Haha! No, it's 1358."

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where's mom I killed her

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Why did Nico Bellec not shoot that one guy? Just joking, this is Grand Theft Auto 4 dummy.

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What do you call a man with an eight foot steel spike wedged in his rectum? An Ambulance

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Racial Equality

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Knock Knock Knockin on heavens door..

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a chicken walks into a bar and gets drunk. the locals then proceed to tell the police because the chicken was harrassing people after he got drunk

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* Why is this dog barking? * Because he's a dog, if he were a cat it would meow.

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why did the circus boy not do his homework? because he was in a coma.

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How do you get a one-armed Polish man out of a tree? With a ladder.

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What do you call Bob if he gets a nose ring? Bob

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Whats the difference between a green apple and a red apple? Their colors.

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how do you kill a blonde?? put a scratch n sniff on the bottom of a pool

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What's worse than burning your bacon? Finding your daughter decapitated and raped in the basement.

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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? Just in case he gets a hole in one! -LEts Go Mets P.S the comment below is also very stupid

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What do you call a ginger in an oven? A ginger in an oven

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What has 4 eyes and cant see? Mississippi

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Why did the black man buy a watermelon? To give to his wife to cut up for his family to have at a picnic

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roses are red, violets are blue, I got pneumonia so now I am too

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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