Knock knock Who's there The police The police who? Ma'am your son is dead

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What is big, hard, and bushy? My Penis. I lied about it being bushy.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Nick Oh hi Nick come in

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What is yellow, and cannot swim? A School Bus.

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What is the difference between you and a brick? A brick gets laid.

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whats the best selling shampoo for children and family? gerrmany's shampoo german engineering. i'm not sure I get anti jokes wait you don't need engineering for soap? HITLER DID -audience- thats mean who else was mean? uhh Mao? Stalin? STDS? -audience- no HITERWAS MEAN wat happen to him he became the leader and fuher of germany and was onn world domination? no he died abullet and a pill died killed him oh god 11 million people died because of him and we make jokes about it -its ANITjokes okay? t make this S$75 any better doesn't revive the fallen -okay......... LOL I bet that soap was actually eaten before by actidneet -jesus shutup okay ok.. sorry man .. wait man? single person? but waht abut "audience" I guess I want a crowd as big as hitlers but all I get is my twisted autism - billy turner died from autism and arrested for practicing naziism in public.

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An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

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Why was the woman sad? Because her son died.

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One man calls emergency: - Come immediately, my little son has swallowed a condom! After five minutes, the same man calls back: - It is OK, I found another one.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Voldemort

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facebook is like a refrigerator. you eat it.

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The 70's called. They had the wrong number.

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Q: Why did Sally fall off the swing? A: How the heck would I know? I don't Sally.

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You are as dumb as a dumb looking person.

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What's worse than a bee sting? The holocaust What's worse then the holocaust? Two bee stings

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Why did the cat die? To get to the other side

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What's worse than getting arrested? getting arrested on your birthday.

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What's invisible and smells like carrots ? Rabbit Farts

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What is worse than when the Titanic sunk? You Cannot say. You were on that ship.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm drunk, I want Taco Bell.

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What did hitler do with the vegetarians? Nothing, because he was one.

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What's worse than a pile of dead babies? Two piles of dead babies.

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A man walks into a bar. What does he say? A: Ow.

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I like doodle. XoXo Jamie

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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