A. Knock Knock B. ... A. Knock Knock B. ... A. DING DONG B. Who's there? A. Me, I tried knocking first but you musn't have heard me, so I rang the doorbell.

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What's the difference between a Toyota Camry and 20 dead babies? I don't have 20 dead babies in my garage.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Nick Oh hi Nick come in

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One man calls emergency: - Come immediately, my little son has swallowed a condom! After five minutes, the same man calls back: - It is OK, I found another one.

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What is yellow, and cannot swim? A School Bus.

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What is the difference between you and a brick? A brick gets laid.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Voldemort

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what makes a knight in shining armor a knight in shining armor? he has to have armor and be a knight.

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how many Arabs and Jews can you fit on a bus? The bus in question is a 56 seater,so 56. If you cram some people in the aisles you could probably fit 65 if you didn't care about anyone's comfortability sheesh you might even for in 100 or more.

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Q: How do get a person to leave you alone ? A: Suck out his eye-balls stuff them in your ears to muffle the sound of his screaming as you head-butt him into a fine paste. Then proceed to spread or squeeze sed paste on to delicious food substance and eat sed delicious food substance. Then carry on with the rest of your day like nothing happened. (P.S. Just ignore any letters about court cases or arrests)

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Knock knock Who's there The police The police who? Ma'am your son is dead

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a Ferrari? A Ferrari was never alive.

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An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

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Wanna hear a joke? Woman's rights.

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What is big, hard, and bushy? My Penis. I lied about it being bushy.

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How many light bulbs does it take to screw in a light bulb??? I don't know don't ask me when I'm asking you the question!!!

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whats the best selling shampoo for children and family? gerrmany's shampoo german engineering. i'm not sure I get anti jokes wait you don't need engineering for soap? HITLER DID -audience- thats mean who else was mean? uhh Mao? Stalin? STDS? -audience- no HITERWAS MEAN wat happen to him he became the leader and fuher of germany and was onn world domination? no he died abullet and a pill died killed him oh god 11 million people died because of him and we make jokes about it -its ANITjokes okay? t make this S$75 any better doesn't revive the fallen -okay......... LOL I bet that soap was actually eaten before by actidneet -jesus shutup okay ok.. sorry man .. wait man? single person? but waht abut "audience" I guess I want a crowd as big as hitlers but all I get is my twisted autism - billy turner died from autism and arrested for practicing naziism in public.

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What do pebbles and Batman have in common. They're both pebbles. Except Batman.

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Why was the woman sad? Because her son died.

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There are 3 people in a car, shit, manners, and asshole. They are driving and shit falls out. They pull over and manners gets out to help shit. Then a cop comes and pulls them over. The cop ask asshole what his name is. He said asshole. The cop said what. Then asshole said asshole. Then the cop says where are your manners. Asshole said over their picking up shit.

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What has 389,236,587 arms, has rainbow colored fur, and fornicates on your front lawn? Absolutely nothing. That's pretty much physically impossible.

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What did the black police officer say to the white police officer? We just got a call in. Four dead children were found in an alley behind a mall.

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What's the difference between Stephani and a momma hippo? The mother hippo is slowly but surely losing weight while Stephani is packing on the pounds! :)

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you're momma's so fat, and i like fat chicks. is she home?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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