What did the little boy get from his parents on Christmas? Nothing. His parents died 2 nights before in a tragic car crash.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why couldn't the dwarf mother reach for the top shelf? Her height was at a mini-mum.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

what do yo call two dog? dogs.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

There was porn on the Internet I masturbated to it, but my parents caught me, and I can't ever leave the house again until I'm 18.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why the FFUUU did you go back? Because I broke something huur.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the stereo break? Cause little Johnny threw a bat at it.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 ate your mom.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

How many Jews can you fit in the car? 4 in the seats and 6 million in the ashtray.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's better then one dead baby in a tub? Many things a dead baby is a tragedy.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

If you have 12 apples and I have 12 ice cubes how many pancakes fit on a roof? Purple because aliens don't wear hats.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

whats red and brown and goes about 30mph? a squirrel in a blender.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do you get a kid with no arms for Christmas? Hungry, Hungry Hippos.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A man walks into an illegal brothel. He is a cop. He takes them back to the police station and questions them in a completely asexual manner.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

When life throws you melons, You probably won't catch them.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Q:What's black, wrinkled and smells like raisins? A: A raisin.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A man didn't feel well so he went to the toilet. He had explosive diahrria, then felt better.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What looks like a smiley face no serously what I want to know

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Opinions are like assholes. I'm not sure how they are alike, but that seems to be the general consensus.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Adeeeellllleeeee where are my shorts

thumb_up thumb_down -9

How do you learn how to drive? You get in the driver seat

thumb_up thumb_down -9

what has a hard shaft and an even harder head? A hammer

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A horse walks in to a bar. The bartender asks: "why the long face?" The horse didn't respond, because it's a horse.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Which of the following is the reason the Titanic sunk. Select all that apply. A. Iceberg B. No radar C. Late warning D. Put your hands on me Jack E. This ship can't sink F. Over by the bed, the couch G. God himself can't sink this ship Z. All the above X. None of the above Q. Why are you still reading

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What goes from pink to red in 5 seconds? A pink shirt when red pain is spilled on it.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops