How do you make a blonde woman act in a porno? You get her consent and pay her money.

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Knock Knock!! Who's there? Dyphis, say goodbye to your kids.

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How do you learn how to drive? You get in the driver seat

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Did you hear about the Irish man that accidently killed himself,he farted in the bath & drowned trying to smell it

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What did the angry asian man do after he crashed his car? He died of serious head trauma and internal bleeding.

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What goes from pink to red in 5 seconds? A pink shirt when red pain is spilled on it.

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Which of the following is the reason the Titanic sunk. Select all that apply. A. Iceberg B. No radar C. Late warning D. Put your hands on me Jack E. This ship can't sink F. Over by the bed, the couch G. God himself can't sink this ship Z. All the above X. None of the above Q. Why are you still reading

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Why should you be scared when a black man asks you, "What are looking at?" Because if he is over the age of 18, he should know better than to end a sentence with a preposition, unless of course, he never had an education, in which case... you should probably run for your life.

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what has a hard shaft and an even harder head? A hammer

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A white man walks into a bar. Then he gets a beer.

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Why did the child not go to his mother's funeral? He was adopted, he didn't know his real mom.

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Roses are blue, Violets are red, Wait, what? huh

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I like my coffee the way I like Christina Aguilera - I don't.

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A horse walks in to a bar. The bartender asks: "why the long face?" The horse didn't respond, because it's a horse.

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i had a black friend once......just kidding

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Probably because this chicken had a mental disability and saw on the news that there was a hospital on the other side of the road that could treat his illness and possibly save his life, allowing him to fulfill his life-long dream of retirement. But knowing that chickens do not possess the brain power capable of understanding the situation that this chicken was in, it had probably gotten lost and just wandered off.

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What happened to the famous musician when he overdosed? He overdosed.

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I meant to state that I threatened to kill him unless he refused to state that I broke his knees (and broke his wrists, I forgot to mention that too, such misery... ...Give a real man a chance here, its not every day I have to kill my mother... But you still wont hear me whining about it, asked my wife if she forgave me if I spent the rest of the day smirking, after all my mother "had visions" where my wife was Satan, which is fun, since I was also Satan the day I was born... Because my name is Nero... A NAME SHE GAVE ME! Still, not very dignifying getting the shit beat out that old hag because she was on some blend of angel dust, and still not so fun killing her by biting half her neck off... ...Literally not so fun, kinda fun? You bet, tasted disgusting, watching her choke to death was...Lets just say I have shared enough joy with you for one day.

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what did i do after u pinched me? i killed everyone

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All the planets are named after gods Ours is named after dirt....

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one day ill be as old as you but you'll be older then too.

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Who would win if Chuck Norris and God fought to the death? None they are both fictional.

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What is the difference between you and a brick? A brick gets laid.

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Me: did u here the one about the girl got hit by a car? Man: no what happened? Me: She is in the hosspital with slight fractures and a broken wrist, but she will live

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops