thats the same sound ur mom made in bed last night

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what did the black, asian and jew have in common? Believe it or not, they all liked cantoulope.

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why am i so sexy? I was raised by a dog.

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Why didn't the millionaire jump off the Golden Gate Bridge? He said "I don't have to commit suicide, that's for poor people" (Wyndellberg)

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What do you call a 2 storied house ?

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What did the poor boy get for Christmas? Orphaned.

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what food wouldn't you take on holiday with you? any its all inclusive

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Scrooge McDuck dives headfirst into his pool of gold coins... He breaks his neck from the impact of the landing and dies.

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After tesco's horse burgers, what's next? My lidl pony

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Why was the All-black Basketball team disqualified? Because they all died in a hotel fire.

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Yo mamas so fat,you know wht, i think she might die !!

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What do you do when the Cubs win the world series? Turn the xbox off and go to bed.

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Yolo is for losers, I have 9 lives...meow

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Why did the guy run out of the whorehouse? Because when she spread her legs it looked like she was pulling apart a grilled ham and cheese sandwich.

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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What did the apple say to the grape? Nothing, fruit are incapable of speaking

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Why didn't the man go to the movies?? Because he likes pie.

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Why did the chicken commit suicide? No one knows, he didn't leave a note.

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What's black and white and red all over? A nun that was stabbed to death.

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What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neil Armstrong was the first man to walk on the moon, whereas Michael Jackson was a singer.

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I'm not racist. Racism is a crime, and crime is for black people.

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Knock knock. Who's there? AV. AV who? Asshole vison. Now that's Amusement Vision. (Remembering Amusement Vision...)

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roses are red violets are blue i like elephants

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One day i woke up, and found my wife dead on the floor. lol.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops