how do you make a baby float take you foot of its head

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knock knock. who's there? Ida Ida who? Idanno, don't ask me.

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Why can't Michael Jackson work at a boy scouts camp? Because he's dead.

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I scream. You scream. We all scream and huddle in a corner of our first grade classroom because of a masked gunman.

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Who's fat? Holly Davis.

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How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

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What's the difference between a black man and cake? I like cake.

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How many finger does a fat person have? I don't know you can never find there hands.

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What's funnier than 24? 25.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are driving in a car. They're on their way to the mall, or something.

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Arsonist: Hey, did you listen my mixtape? It's really FIRE.

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Why is Travis so hilarious? ....Trick question hes not.

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What do you call a fat jew? A person that most likely has an eating problem and needs to seek help from the nearest rabbi

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What's more satistfying then good sex? A nice loud, stinky fart.

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Hi Adam,

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What do you call an Italian baby born with an extra toe? He was named Vincent Antonio Linguini and has been doing well with six toes.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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When did the Chinese guy go to the dentist? At the correct time he had been allotted.

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what is the difference of left and right? i used my right hand to stab your mother.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Pizza? A Jew is a person either born into or converted to Judaism, and a Pizza is a disc shaped, oven baked bread typically topped with tomato sauce and cheese.

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Why was the orphan crying? Because his parents are dead.

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A girl walks into a bar. She unfortunately meets a man with a drinking problem. The man takes her home, strips her of her virginity and then beats her with a bat until she can no longer breathe. Her name was Laura Pratz.

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why did the pile of rocks cross the road? they were stuffed down the chickens throat

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I can see you under there. Under what?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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