What's green, red, and goes fifty miles an hour? A frog in a blender.

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A black man, a Jewish man, and a gay man walk into a bar. They are all good friends who want to enjoy drinks together.

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Knock knock. Who's there? You know. You know who? "Call him Voldemort.... Fear of a name increases fear of the thing itself."

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What happens if Pinocchio says "My nose is about to grow." Nothing, Pinocchio was a fictional character created by Walt Disney.

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So an asian man gets into a car... and drives home on the highway driving at the approximate speed of the designated speed limit while exhibiting safe driving maneuvers. He arrives home to his wife and kids and sits down for a nice dinner while having a engaging conversation about the political future of the United States and his favorite football team.

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Why did the police stopped the black driver? Because one of his car's lights was busted.

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What's better than winning a Gold Medal in the Special Olympics? Not being handicapped in the first place.

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knock knock. I have a doorbell, you don't have to knock.

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Where do you find your quadriplegic dog? Right where you left it.

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11111

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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What do you call a black guy with a shotgun? A fine American citizen exercising his 2nd Amendment right.

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Whats round, hard, and full of seaman? Well in the context I'm using it in, a submarine, but too the inappropriate mind when spoken out loud, could be registered as the homophone of seaman, semen, which would then lead you too think of male genitalia.

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I went to a magic show and the magician asked for my watch... He took the watch and then produced a doughnut... Guess what was in the doughnut? JAM!

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What's the number one killer in America? Death.

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Your mama is so poor that she is on welfare, but she is ashamed to tell you and cries herself to sleep every night.

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How do you get a one-armed clown out of a tree? Hit it in the face with an axe.

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A Priest and a Rabbi walk into a grocery store. As they walk past the meat section, the Priest stops, smiles, and turns to the Rabbi. "Feeling Hungry?" The Rabbi reaches down and picks up a pack of Koscher hotdogs.

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How did the square become a circle? Due to the period of recession in our nation, it was found necessary to cut corners.

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A skeleton goes to a bar an orders a human flesh.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass. I was kidding about the wheels.

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Yo mamma's so stupid, she dropped out of college.

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Q: How many Chuck Norrises does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: negitave 999999999999999999e

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Q: what did the hot dog say to the hamburger A: i want your buns

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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