What's the quickest way to a person's heart? A knife

Who the heck do you think you are?! Ally...duh

why is my wife crying? because she doesn't like tomatoes

* Are you afraid of dinosaurs? * No, they're all dead.

Knock knock. With the invention of doorbells, knocking has become almost obsolete.

What can hurt you if you pee on it? A rabid grizzly bear

What smells like smoke, sounds like a pig, and looks like a horse? My mom's boyfriend

Roses are red, violets are blue, some poems rhyme, others don't

why did the chicken cross the road? because it wanted to get to the other side! why did the chipmunk cross the road? because it was stapled to the chicken

A guy asks, "Why was my mom in your bed?" The other guy replies, "Because your mom has a mental disease which inhibits her ability to process thought."

A blonde, redhead, and a brunette are chatting outside a casino. The brunette directs a joke towards the blonde. "What's the difference between cotton candy and pork chops?" The blonde has heard the joke prior to this encounter and correctly completes it with sign language because she is deaf.

What's white and gluey Glue

Roses are grey. Violets are grey. I am a dog.

Q:What do you call a wizard who flies? A: A flying wizard.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have said two factual statements.

What's worse than one cat stuck in a tree? Getting raped

Why was the cat unable to drink its milk? He was stapled to the wall

Roses are red Violets are blue I've got to say I hate you!

Why did the boy want to sleep in the same bed as his parents? His bedroom was on fire.

A women driver prepares to park in a small space between to cars on the side of a road. She safely and flawlessy parallel parks, and proceeds to enter a nearby coffe shop for an important business meeting.

what is worse than a hole in your sock? Getting raped

Why did bethany fall off the swing She had no arms Knock knock Who's there? Not Bethany

Exercise Ex - Er - Cise Ex - Ar - Size.. Eggs Are Sides For bacon.. BACON

what is a present you would give a werewolves? I said... OBAMA!!! tee hee

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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