Hey babe, do you like going to sleep without shoes on? Because most people find it more comforting to remove footwear in order to rest and relax peacefully during bedtime.

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What do you call a sober man driving a car? a designated driver

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Why did the man buy his wife expensive flowers? It was their anniversary and he is a faithful husband.

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What do you call a bird that can't fly? A dead bird

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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This would be racist to black people if they could read.

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Knock Knock. Whose there? The IRS. All your base are belong to us.

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why couldn't the man play frisbee? he was a dog

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If you give a mouse a cookie... ...youre ruining its natural diet. it might die.

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What is more disappointed the Lake Disappointment? You

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What looks like half of an apple? The other half.

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I had friends on the Death Star.

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What happens when your first name is Newton? You get nicknamed NEWT

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3 men walk into a bar, and the fourth guy behind them had the sense to duck under it.

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A police officer asks a witness of a murder what he witnessed. The man replies "A murder"

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what kind of person would you call dumb the ones who read anti jokes

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What do you say when a black person is walking through wal-mart? Prisoner

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Q: What's white, is Mel Gibson, and would kill someone if it fell out of a tree? A: Mel Gibson.

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A duck walks into a bar and buys a drink. When the bartender comes up he says put it on my bill

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What's faster, a train or a bike? A horse because a cow gives milk

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HNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNGH

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A blonde walks into an electronic store...she buys an IPhone because someone stole her blackberry, her money, and everything she cares for. Nah, I'm just kiddin', she was murdered.

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Roses are red Violets are? blue Lets eat poo I know you want to

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How did little Sally break her Nintendo DS? Her abusive father repeatedly abused her and punished her until she was thrown into a stone wall. As she went into the wall she crushed by another wall and broke the DS.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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