Q; What's the new slogan for the TSA? We handle more junk than EBay.

Yo mama is so fat that she is in a diet and wants to lose weight by eating healthy.

why did the titanic sink, it was hit by a iceberg

Why did the chicken cross the road? Cause he felt like it.

Why did steve cry? Because he got punched.

What did the one battery say to the other? Nothing. Batteries can't talk.

What's the best way to win a race? Run faster than all other participants.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms.

What's brown and sticky? ...A stick.

Why did sally fall off the swings? Because she had no arms. Knock knock? Who's there? Not Sally

In Soviet Russia my freedoms are severally restricted by communism.

Jimmy: I'm like hey, what's up, hello. Jon: I've already met you.

What do you call it when you see a black man break his arm? There isn't really any name but I suggest he seeks medical attention.

what did the unicorn say to the centaur? nothing because neither exist

There was a boy named Steven, a son of a rich business man. Steven was an interesting child though, as he always kept care to one of his possessions. That possession being a plain, old, brown box. On Steven's fourth birthday his father said he could have anything in the world he wanted, just name it. Steven said he wanted two quarters to put in his box. The father agreed and gave his son two quarters to put in his box. Every year the father would say he could have anything he wished for, and Steven just asked for two quarters. Nothing more. On Steven's 18th birthday he got into a severe car crash. The father stood over the hospital bed where Steven lay. "I can get you the best doctors in the world. They can save you, please let me get you this for your birthday!" The boy shook his head. "All I want is two quarters" Steven replied. The father was distraught. "Son, tell me why you've wanted these two quarters every year you have been alive instead of anything else in the world". The boy complied. "Fine I'll tell you." Then Steven died before he could tell the father. The End.

Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven has an extra penis

Why did the guy in the ferrari stop? -He hit the median at 100mph.

What do you call a two headed platypus? Go ask him, I'm sure he has a name.

A man walked into a bar. He bought a pint.

I Have A Dog Named Woof Woof A Chicken Called Clucky A Cow Named Moo And A Pig Named Oink Lol Jks I Was Talking About My Wife

What do you call a black man being raped by 6 members of the Ku Klux Klan? Rape

Why did Sally drop her Ice Cream Cone? Because her dog licked her butthole.

What's funnier than a pile of dead babies? A pile of dead babies with a live one crawling out.

Q: How do you count the population of Mexico? A: Take a census.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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